Regarding toilet paper:


Regarding laptops:


Regarding birthdays:


Regarding dinner:


On getting wet:


Regarding dogs:


Regarding asking for a loan:


Regarding coming home from work:


Turtles and tortoises are perfect in every way, and yet the internet is still dominated by cats. I honestly shouldn't need to explain this to you guys, but here's why you should be giving turtles your attention instead.
Regarding toilet paper:
Cats shred the crap out of it.
But turtles will fold the ends for you.
Regarding laptops:
Cats will prevent you from getting any work done.
But turtles will type up your report.
Regarding birthdays:
Cats will leave you hairballs and an assortment of dead rodents as "presents."
But turtles will throw you a party.
Regarding dinner:
Cats get their hair all over the food.
But turtles observe the rules of etiquette.
On getting wet:
Cats hate it, hate you, and temporarily lose cuteness points.
But all is right with the world when turtles are wet.
Regarding dogs:
Cats are prone to bullying them.
But tortoises will be their bffs.
Regarding asking for a loan:
Cats think your dream to open a used book store is a terrible idea.
But turtles believe you're worth the risk.
Regarding coming home from work:
Cats don't care if you've had a bad day at work.
But turtles will always greet you with a smile.
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