The Celebrity Columbusers Of 2016

In observance of Columbus Day, here’s a list of influential people to bring you something that you’ve probably seen before throughout the year

Via en.wikipedia.org

Columbus - v. To take credit for discovering something that was previously laid claim to or was clear and apparent to a vast majority of the population.

-ing -ed

syn. cheat, swindle, steal

See. Re-inventing the wheel

The Kardashians

Via img.wennermedia.com

At the top of the list is your favorite family of Columbusers from recent reality tv history. From boxer-braids (cornrows) to colorful wigs, they've Columbused most of what have been known to be fixtures in the African American community for a while right down to the Deoxyrinucleic Acid including full lips round behinds. Better watch out or they are going to beat Madame CJ Walker to creating the first hot comb next.

Rihanna (and Puma)

Via typeset-beta.imgix.net

Not hating on the hustle, but Ms. Fenty certainly got y'all earlier this year by repurposing pair of everybody's grandma's house shoes, slapping a $70 price tag on them, and leading y'all to believe it was okay to walk around in public with them on. Go 'head Riri!

S/N: I've got a line of terry cloth windbreakers coming out just in time for fall. They come in above the knee and floor length. Belt to hold it together sold separately.

Amber Rose

Via vh1.mtvnimages.com

The, I guess, model (?) has certainly taken the ball that is the Beyoncé re-brand of "feminism" and run...or, rather, Slut Walked with it right into an attempt to retain relevancy. And to her credit, and the discredit of her audience, it's kind of worked. Over the last few years, she's been tossing around terms such as "slut-shame," "body-shame," and "sex-positive" like a college freshman with one sociology class under their belt, and this year managed to Columbus herself into the territory of late-night greats like DR. Ruth and DR. Sue. She's swindled her way into the role of unfortunate feminist role model and isn't afraid to use her limited jargon to shutdown anyone who points out her tendency to overshare and, umm, very specific resume. But who needs a degree or qualifications when you have body count, right? Going forward, it may be more befitting to change her name from Amber Rose to Amber Mayflower.

Beyoncé (or really, The Bey Hive)

Via slate.com

Alright, I can already hear the hive buzzing, but yes, I'm going there. Beyoncé has found herself the focal point of more than one Columbused campaign of social activism over the years. In 2013, she was hailed as the poster child of Feminism for injecting an oddly placed feminist speech in a song with the chorus "Bow down bitches." This year, The Hive hyped her up to something akin to Angela Davis leading up to her Superbowl performance for her passive appreciation for natural hair and big noses...sheesh, is there anything this woman (in the eyes of her fans) can't redo?!

Jaden Smith

Via media.salon.com

Prince, David Bowie, Twisted Sister, Lenny Kravitz, Iggy Pop, Rick James, RuPaul...just a few of the names media left out when praising young Jaden for sailing over to the girls section and putting on a skirt like it had never been done before. Jaden managed to Columbus himself right into a spot modeling for Louis Vuitton women's wear, and it was all brand new, again, to the world.

Melania Trump

Via slate.com

How could I even do this list without mentioning ol' Melania? Her gliding onto the GOP convention stage and recycling words by Michelle Obama was probably one of the greatest moments of Columbusing history since Columbus himself, not to mention all of the memes that followed. Thanks for the borrowed laugh, Melania!

Donald Trump (and supporters)

Via slate.com

And finally, following suite is Donald Trump himself. While his wife's attempts at Columbusing were humorous, his attempts, and success, at re-unearthing and exploiting existing xenophobic, racist, and sexist attitudes is no laughing matter. Congrats on possibly being as big of a threat to a population as Columbus, himself.