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1. A crying Kimoji sticker to stick on the mirror, notebook, phone, and maybe even face of your Kardashian-hating bestie.
Cuz all is fair in petty and petty when it comes to the Kardashians.
Get it from Redbubble for $3.44.
2. A pretty hypoallergenic bangle to slip on on the days when your petty levels are ONE TRILLION.
Get it from Buela Marie Artistry on Etsy for $10.
3. A fuzzy googly creature phone case to let you and your phone’s over-it-ness be shown. Because FOUR sideyes are so much better than two.
4. An embroidered hat—eff your sleeve and wear your emotions on your forehead.
5. A deck of affirmation cards to help you discover your inner strength and for avoiding situations that may annoy you.
The deck includes 64 cards.
Promising Review: “These cards are so cute. I love their size, and the package is amazing. They have a description on the back, which is also fun and colorful. I got these as a gift for my sister. But I told her I would keep them for safe keeping. She couldn't help but laugh at that claim!” —Rina
Get them from Amazon for $14.39, Jet for $14.39, or Walmart for $14.39.
6. A precious pin to add to your coat as a reminder to speak no evil — which actually translates to “sometimes you should keep your damn mouth closed.”
It is often difficult to hold your tongue. But put this pin on your jacket, hat, or bag as a reminder that silence is sometimes the best option.
Get it from Alternative Apparel for $12.
7. Quiet—a book that may inspire yourself to listen just a little bit more than you speak — at least for a few days.
Promising Review: “This is an awesome book. If you are an introvert or think you might be one, you should buy this book.” —Pilar Garcia
Get it from Amazon for $9.39+, Barnes & Noble for $11.12+, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.
8. A pack of TONYMOLY I’m Real sheet masks for living in your petty truth while making your skin feel hydrated and refreshed.
The nine-pack includes one lemon, tea tree, tomato, aloe, pomegranate, red wine, broccoli, avocado, and makgeolli mask. And the 11-pack features all those same masks, as well as the seaweed and rice mask.
Promising Review: “I love these masks so much! A friend got one for me a few months ago, and I've been reordering them ever since. They are so cooling and smell amazing. I really love the Avocado one. My face feels so moisturized and fresh after!” —Janelle Burron
Get an nine-pack from Amazon for $18 or 11-pack from Walmart for $14.99.
9. Throw on an extremely honest T-shirt every computer fiend needs ASAP — because we know you're tired of being asked about EVERY tech issue.
10. A set of heart pins to share with with your partner in all petty crimes — we know you can’t always do it alone.
Get them from Garbage Humans on Etsy for $10 each (available in two colors, with two backing options).
11. The first and second seasons of Insecure for a expert lesson on navigating and controlling your petty — and the petty of those around you.
Issa will most definitely teach you how to both avoid and capitalize on whatever pettiness life throws your way.
Promising Review: “I love the characters. This is the new world of young professionals. The main character, Issa, captures what it is like teaching in schools now and the dating scene. Being professional is not enough and finding good men is a crap shoot. This is such a good show!” —Alphonso J
Get Season 1 from Amazon for $13.76 (available on Blu-ray and DVD) or Walmart for $14.92+ (available on Blu-ray and DVD).
Or watch Season 1 and Season 2 with an Amazon Prime subscription.
12. A message bar bracelet or initial bangle to remind you to stay focused on the things that don’t annoy the crap out of you.
13. A dope T-shirt exclaiming probably one of the pettiest phrases of all time.
14. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People—add it to your reading list, so you can learn ways to be your best in your personal, professional, and petty life.
Promising Review: “I had to buy this for a sales management class and am glad I get to keep it as my own. It is a very easy read and full of great content that will help you look at your life in a new perspective.” —Jesse Case
Get it from Amazon for $5.99+, Barnes & Noble for $11.82+, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.
15. An adorable T-shirt so your little ones can brag about just how much they love mommy and all her fabulously petty ways.
Get it from CVJ Creations on Etsy for $12.50 (available in nine colors, sizes Newborn to 5T).
16. A slightly shady mug for offering encouragement to the equally petty people around you.
17. A pre-shrunk crewneck tee for that demands respect for your petty and all it has to offer..
Get it from Glam Her Tees on Etsy for $25 (available in S-3XL).
18. And finally—Keep It Shut.
Always THINK before you speak or act. And if you feel your pettiness boiling up, you may just have to shut it up and simply not say shit at all. Karen Ehman’s book Keep It Shut may provide some extra guidance and advice on controlling your mouth.
Promising Review: “This book is so awesome! It really hit home with me and my big mouth! I felt Karen had been around when I opened my mouth before and was talking to me personally. You will love this book. It’s an easy read, and you will not be able to put it down.” —Jane H. Dean
Get it from Amazon for $10.84+ or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.
But remember that a little pettiness in moderation is just fine. Because sometimes you just have to take it there.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.
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