1. It feels like it lasts foreeeever.
2. It's all anyone can talk about, and you're just like...
3. Literally everyone is having a blast but you.
4. All your friends are having a ball, and you want to be included.
5. So you have someone try to explain it to you, but you're just like...
6. But you make yourself try to watch a game anyway.
7. Like, you really, really try.
8. But who are you fooling?
9. You'd rather be anywhere else doing anything else.
10. If you do watch, it's only to admire all those beautiful legs in action.
11. Having your favorite shows pre-empted for soccer inspires a special kind of murderous rage.
12. So does having to fight your soccer fan S.O. for control of the TV.
13. And going to your favorite bar on game night and finding it full of drunken fans is the absolute worst.
14. Plus, all this nationalism makes you kind of nervous.
15. And what about the protest thing?
16. But worst of all: your Twitter timeline will be insufferable until it's over.
Thirty-something from Louisville, KY. Made of bourbon and awesome.
Contact Tracy Clayton at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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