Skip To Content
  • Viral badge
  • lol badge

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

The most fertile week of your month can also be the most miserable.

1. I need to have sex.

2. All the sex.

3. Sex sex sex sex sex.

4. Wow, that person is so hot.

5. I'd totally do that person over there.

6. And that person isn't that hot, but I'd probably still do them.

7. I'd do most everyone right now, honestly.

8. I wish my top were lower and my skirt were shorter.

9. I also kind of secretly wish I had a baby.

10. Don't be ridiculous, self. I don't need a baby.

11. What I DO need is some food.

12. I need tons of food.

13. I need to eat every food that exists.

14. I just want to eat and have sex. At the same time, if possible.

15. I also want to hold and cuddle and snuggle a baby.

16. No, two babies.

17. Dude, there's a thing inside my body that could turn into a baby right now.

18. What if there's an actual baby in there now?

19. Wait, what kind of pain is this?

20. It feels like my fallopian tube is exploding.

21. OK, I think the worst is over, but maybe I should get really emo and throw a tantrum for good measure.

22. It's all over! Time to celebrate another month of triumph over my womb!