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44 Amazing Uses For Male Tears

They're one of the most bountiful, versatile resources in the world.

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1. Tooth whitener

2. Eye shadow primer

3. A rinse for shiny, bouncy hair

4. Cleaning and maintaining armor and iron weapons

5. Exfoliating facial mask

6. Pork marinade

7. Industrial lubricant

8. Personal lubricant

9. Ink when you're out of the blood of your enemies

10. Glass cleaner

11. A soothing soak for sore joints and muscles

12. Removing set-in stains

13. A brine for scrumptious homemade pickles

14. A brine for your Thanksgiving turkey

15. A brine for the beating heart of your foes

16. Anti-wrinkle cream

17. Sunscreen

18. Martinis

19. Burn relief

20. Eczema relief

21. Responsibility for a man's feelings relief

22. Nail polish topcoat

23. Cleaning pots and pans

24. Loosening tightly closed jars

25. Shining hubcaps

26. Insect repellant

27. Tattoo ink

28. Cooking spray

29. Alternative clean fuel source

30. Clean cloudy car headlights

31. Contact lens solution

32. Delicious frozen summer treats

33. Various potions and magical elixirs

34. Poison

35. Poison antidote

36. Brighten yellow nail beds

37. Invigorating foot soak

38. Use in place of water to make perfect sticky rice

39. Use in place of water to bathe

40. Use in place of water to baptize your baby girls and fortify them for a lifetime of war against patriarchy

41. Under eye brightener

42. Removal of corns and callouses

43. Antacid

44. A toast to matriarchy

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