1. A bathroom that can rival the glamour of any quinceañera.
2. An oven whose primary mission is to serve as comfortable lodging for young and old pans and pots.
Sometimes even food storage containers, if Mom is feeling adventurous.
3. Bags in bags in bags. (Also to be found in the oven many times.)
BAG INCEPTIONNNNN.
4. A large plant (or several) seemingly coming at you out of nowhere.
Having plants in the home = normal.
Having an helecho hit you in the face when you open the door to a restroom = not so normal.
5. And also a large maceta, preferably located next to the television! 'Cause good things come in pairs.
6. Some couches handsomely* wrapped up in plastic.
*Not handsomely really, like, at all, but this is allegedly a furniture preservation method.
7. One or maybe A MILLION ceramic figurines that may or may not look like what the homeowner claims them to be.
"AGUAS CON EL BAMBI."
8. 👇 👇 👇 👇
ENTIRE CORNERS FILLED WITH THEM.
9. A bad photo (usually of a pet) stuffed in a frame so baroque it rivals most Italian cathedrals.
10. A glass cabinet displaying the finest dinnerware sets that you shall never, ever eat out of.
11. A faceless doll. O_o
(If you're Dominican or Colombian, especially.)
12. A handmade tapete, somewhere, somehow.
Does it fit in with the rest of the decor? Does it make sense on top of another rug? Are people actually expected to step over it...? PLEASE. Irrelevant. It just needs. to. exist.
13. A piece of furniture whose every repisa exhibits ancient bibles, bautizo souvenirs, and worldly cachivaches. (And generally stuff that should've been given away in a bazar or became obsolete ages ago.)
14. Not one or two pics of the nuclear family, but instead a dang panoramic image of the entire family that stretches for miles across the living room.
All 600+ cousins, distant cousins, and distant cousins of the distant cousins.
15. And, tbh, it wouldn't be unusual to bump into a dog sporting a sweater.
We don't know exactly why, but this is true.
16. And, finally, FRIDGES FULL OF DECEIT.
With containers filled with straight-up disappointment. ICE CREAM > FRIJOLES.
