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It's Freezing And You're A Weak Human

Tired of crying about the weather only to have your tears freeze on your frostbitten cheek? Here are 9 tricks to take you from weather wimp to winter warrior.

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3. Take An Awkward Family Photo


Because nothing beats the cold like the warmth of your child's cheeks, burning with public humiliation and shame.

Keep your family's body temp up by subjecting them to the treasured tradition of dressing the entire clan in the same clothes and documenting the practice.

Oh, and extra warmth points if you've dressed them in knitted beard-hats!

4. Invest In A Home Butt Warmer (actual butt warmer NOT pictured!)


Listen, don't sit on the stove. This is a cat, you are a human and you should know better.

That said, there are real and FDA approved butt warmers available for purchase. Try here to get one of your own.

5. Better yet? Invest in a Mobile Butt Warmer


Let's be honest, you are way too popular to stay inside all winter alone near your home butt warmer. You need mobility!

For less than $30 you can walk around and never worry about "freezing your buns off" again.

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