3. Take An Awkward Family Photo
Because nothing beats the cold like the warmth of your child’s cheeks, burning with public humiliation and shame.
Keep your family’s body temp up by subjecting them to the treasured tradition of dressing the entire clan in the same clothes and documenting the practice.
Oh, and extra warmth points if you’ve dressed them in knitted beard-hats!
4. Invest In A Home Butt Warmer (actual butt warmer NOT pictured!)
Listen, don’t sit on the stove. This is a cat, you are a human and you should know better.
That said, there are real and FDA approved butt warmers available for purchase. Try here to get one of your own.
8. Pretend Snowflakes Are Actually Ninja Throwing Stars
But, let’s get real, they are ALL dangerous silent killer weapons raining hellfire down on you from the sky.
Keep your body temp up by tactfully avoiding these small, deadly assassins.