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25 Times Megan Amram Was The Funniest Person On Twitter

"My ONE question about the minion movie: will there be enough minions???"

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1. When she made periods sound super casual:

New euphemism for having your period = "renting from Redbox"

2. When she winning all of the awards:

i'm only four awards away from winning an EGOT!!!

3. When she had strong opinions about Starbucks:

Starbucks coffee is disgusting. First of all it tastes like soap, second of all u have to get it from dispensers in the BATHROOM????

4. When she had this thought-provoking question about Ryan Gosling:

At what age does Ryan Gosling have to change his name to Ryan Goose

5. When she was confused about Mount Rushmore:

Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads

6. When she asked the question we all had about "Minions:"

My ONE question about the minion movie: will there be enough minions???

7. When she discussed body standards:

Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn't have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful.

8. When she nailed the Rorschach test:

don't know why this "Rorschach" guy is such a famous artist, he just did a thousand paintings of me having sex with my mom.......

9. When she saw the world's worst flash mob:

This is a pretty shitty flash mob. It's in my living room, only my family showed up, and they're just telling me to stop drinking.

10. When she said what we all wanted to say about PT Cruisers:

I like when I see a PT Cruiser in a handicapped parking space cause I know it's a mental handicap

11. When she didn't want to sound racist:

I don't wanna sound racist, but all California Raisins look the same to me

12. When she hadn't shot a person:

By the time he was my age, Lee Harvey Oswald had already shot a PRESIDENT. i haven't even shot a normal person

13. When she made an excellent point about dessert:

Every dessert is guilt-free if you're a sociopath

14. When she loved a good TBT:

I can't sleep because when I wake up it's gonna be Throwback Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!

15. When she understood that rock beats scissors:

Edward Scissorhands was beaten mercilessly by the school bully, Edward Rockhands

16. When she beat the system with pepper:

I'm going to request my last meal with fresh ground pepper & when the waiter tells me to say "when" to the pepper I'm just never going to

17. When she craved affection:

Sometimes I make my mouth numb so it feels like someone else is telling me I'm pretty

18. When the sunset was not impressive:

I wish you guys could see this sunset right now. So shitty. It's just such an awful fucking sunset.

19. When she thought about a drunk girl:

i once saw a drunk girl wearing a shirt that said "clam on the run" & i think about her every day

20. When she wasn't 3008:

My doctor just called: I'm two thousand and late :(

21. When she was pretty lucky;

The bad news is, I broke a mirror. The good news is, I used a shard to cut the foot off a rabbit!!

22. When she had plans for Guy Fieri:

I'm going to miss Guy Fieri after he dies after I murder him

23. When her breakup was hard:

After my ex and I broke up, I was in a really bad place (Florida)

24. When she was inspired by Kanye:

if u ain't allergic / holla WE WANT PEANUT WE WANT PEANUT

25. When she got real:

Any bag of M&M's is Family Size when you're an orphan

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