We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about the pettiest reasons they've broken up with someone, OR been broken up with. Here are their responses:
1. "I was the one who was 'dumped' during my first year of high school, the reason being that I wasn't on his 'spiritual level' because I didn't want to join his group of Wiccan Satanists."
"He was all about that stuff and I refused to be a part of it, especially when he wanted to take me out on a date at midnight to a graveyard with his buddies to sacrifice a goat."
2. "I once broke up with a guy because he always had visible boogers... Like always. He would never blow his damn nose and I couldn't stand it."
3. "I was hooking up with this hot guy because he smelled amazing. When I went to visit his place for the first time, I noticed straight away that his room smelled exactly like that same glorious smell but tuned up by a thousand!"
"It was so overwhelmingly strong that it became gross to me. I just made up an excuse and bolted."
4. "I broke up with someone because he texted like a teenager and abbreviated everything — it made his texts look like random keyboard smashing."
6. "Out of many, the pettiest reason that contributed to me breaking up with my ex was their obsession with puppets."
"He used to make them outfits, and once even made him and his fave puppet ~matching~ outfits. Sometimes he'd start doing a puppet voice mid-conversation and it freaked me out so much."
7. "I broke up with a guy because he always chewed with his mouth open. It was just so noisy that it made me feel sick!"
8. "My date one time pulled up blasting a Lindsay Lohan CD. He was 47 and it just gave me the ick."
9. "We were getting down to business when he gestured towards my genitalia and asked in a faux English accent, 'May I?'"
"No, you may fucking not. I had to end things."
10. "I ended things with someone because he not only lied about his height, but on our second date he turned up with all these trophies he had won from a TV game show he was on."
"Also, he kept talking about how much he loved 'tender kissing.'"
11. "A guy I dated in college kept condoms in a Pokémon card tin. Looking back, I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but at the time I thought it was so weird."
12. "He had too much spit in his mouth. I couldn't concentrate when he spoke, and lost all urges to kiss him very quickly."
13. "He wore this coconut lotion and the smell made me queasy. When I was ending things, I told him I just wasn't in the same place he was but honestly, it was the coconut lotion."
15. "I broke up with a guy once after dating for a couple of months because 'He Wrote All Of His Text Messages With A Capital Letter At The Start Of Each Word' and I just couldn’t take it anymore."
"I don’t know why it gave me the ick but it really gave me the ick. He was 39…"
17. "I dated a university lecturer that didn't 'believe in deodorants'. His BO was bad. When I'd open his bedroom door, the stench would really hit me! I had to end things after that."
18. "I had to leave a date after he spent the entire dinner complaining about his steak being too rare, and then acting extra shitty towards the waiters about it when they were just being polite."
19. "I found out he'd been in a one hit wonder noughties pop punk band. I googled him, and found all this fan-fiction some thirsty fan had written about him and his band mates."
"I literally couldn't talk to him without hearing it in my head and laughing. I thought it best to go our separate ways after that."
20. "It was his habit of pushing his fringe out of his eyes every ten seconds that did me in."
21. "He wore white briefs. I don't know why, but tighty whities on a full-grown man weirds me out. We had only gone on a handful of dates, but as soon as I saw those I was done."
22. "He had the same name as my Dad. I could deal with it for a while, but when he started calling me 'sweetheart', which my Dad calls me, it just got too weird."
23. "He wore sandals in the winter even though it gets to be about 15 degrees where we live. He had lots of other shoes, but he said the sandals were easier."
24. "After dinner at his place once, I asked him for floss. He looked at me like I was crazy and said 'floss?' like it was an odd request."
"He was a 40-year-old who had never purchased floss. It was at that moment that I knew I could not continue to pursue anything with this man."
25. "My girlfriend in my third year of high school broke up with me so that she wouldn't miss the finale of Golden Girls. Looking back on it now, I can't even be angry."
Some submissions have be edited for length and/or clarity!