Recently, we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share their experiences with Canadian geese. The survivors have spoken:
There were these people who stepped into Canada Goose Territory:
1. "Geese are no joke! Once I was walking and saw a gaggle... long story short, I took the long way back."
2. "When walking on a path with geese near I always make sure to go as far as possible around them yet they still get angry sometimes….pure evil."
3. "Once when I was 12 years old in Alberta, I was riding around on my bike and there were some geese. I thought that they would move out of the way like other birds, but they didn't. So I ended up lightly bumping into one and it chased me for 2 blocks!"
4. "I was walking my dog and a goose was laying on the grass on the way to my building— I thought I had enough space to do a big loop around it on the grass…but no. This thing got up and started chasing me and hissing. I had to do a major detour around three buildings to avoid it."
These people who got in the way of academic geese:
5. "My old college campus was invaded by geese. They formed a gang and would harass students at random. It was a perfectly legitimate excuse to be late to class if you said you were attacked by geese. I saw one trap a grown man in his car once."
6. "Two of them ended up inside my high school in Mississauga and the principal came on the announcements to tell us not to leave our classrooms until the staff got the geese out!"
7. "When I lived in residence in my first year of university, there was a goose that used to hang out just outside the doors to my building. A couple weeks into the school year it started attacking me every time I went outside. The damn thing would be chill when everyone else walked out and the moment I went through the door it would charge at me, honking it’s little evil face."
"I wound up having to use the back door into the building for a couple of months until Winter. I ~thought~ I was in the clear after that but when Spring hit — guess who showed up outside the doors? The evil cobra chicken himself."
8. "When I was touring Western University they were everywhere! Two of them were fighting so hard, I thought they were going to kill each other — but when our tour stopped to talk about one of the buildings, one of the geese flew through our group and whipped my leg with its wing."
People who learned that children and geese don't mix:
9. "My daycare was next to a pond, which became a favorite haunt of a flock of geese. We were terrified of them, because we were perfectly bite-sized and they hunted us. Sometimes when we went outside we’d hear a kid start screaming and know that the geese got another one. Those bastards hurt when they bite."
10. "Our small local zoo is 'home' to geese every year, and we give their nests a wide berth. My son was a toddler and wandered a little too close to a goose, and that bastard started hissing and charging towards him. I stepped between them and yelled at the hell-beast until it backed off."
11. "When I was a kid, my sister and I were beside a river when a goose grabbed a chunk of my sisters hair in its mouth. I'm not sure how it got so close to us so fast, but I just remember my dad picking us both up from the necks of our jackets and running!"
There were those who were plagued by Goose Poop™️:
12. "Let's not forget, wherever there are Canada Geese, there is Canada Geese POOP!"
"I went to a school where the football/soccer field was just up the hill from a pond, so mid-migration flocks of geese would land on the pond and then troop up to the field and camp out — literally hundreds at a time. Which made things fun for anyone who played sports on that field. Basically, if you lost your footing, you'd stand up with your clothing streaked green from goose poop."
13. "Canada Geese are absolute aggressive dicks. They are like feathered gangs, and they shit all over the sidewalks in Lincoln Park which is a slippery, stinky hazard!"
Those who definitely got their steps in for the day:
14. "As someone from Waterloo, the geese will chase you if you look at them wrong!"
15. "One time during a field trip when I was in high school, I was dared to go up to a goose — when I got within 2 meters of it, all of a sudden all hell broke loose and this dinosaur of a Canadian Goose decided to chase me around relentlessly for a good 10 minutes while my friends just stood and laughed their asses off!!"
"It hissed at me constantly and had murder in its eyes. Ever since, I have always tried to stay as far away from Canadian Geese as possible."
16. "My mom told me a story about this time when she was sitting in a parking lot and there was a goose sitting on the ground in the lot too. This guy comes and walks past when the goose starts to attack him! It was flying in the air and pecking at his head and would ~not~ stop! The guy was running away and he kept looking back and screaming — she said it looked like a TV show."
17. "When I was working at a zoo as an interpreter, there were always wild ducks and geese around the grounds but most the time they would mind their own business. One time, this goose was walking up the pathway and stopped a few feet from me. When I looked over it ran towards me and started pecking at my legs and freaking out."
"It chased me for a moment or two, and then just as suddenly as it started, it stopped and continued walking up the pathway. That was the moment I believed Canadian geese are made of hatred, anger, and spite."
Those caught in a Car vs. Canada Geese match (spoiler— there are no winners):
18. "I honked at a goose that was standing in the road and it bit the bumper of my car."
19. "I live on a lake, so you can imagine I've had a number of encounters with these beasts. My favorite is when I was driving and there were two geese crossing the road, so I stopped to wait for them. One of them literally attacked my car. I mean the audacity is impressive."
20. "There was a Canadian Goose chilling in the bushes outside of a movie theater I had gone to and when I came out it chased me all the way to my car!"
And lastly, there were these people who have risen above having geese issues:
21. "Geese aren't as bad as people say, as long as you know how to fight them! Then you never have to worry about them."
22. "I've never had a problem with Canada geese. I wouldn't turn my back on one, but I've always just shooed them away. We have a handful at a pond near my house that are almost friendly when we walk down there. Maybe it's my Big Goose Energy from having grown up with some as pets."
23. "They come in droves every year, then set up their little cliques all over parks and green belts. They will mob you and try to intimidate you — but every spring when I see them flying back home, I give 'em the old one-finger salute from below and tell them to get fucked!"
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.