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    • tonyc38

      This is my greatest fart story. The date was Friday, March 31st 1995; a date that will live in infamy, you could say.  I know the date because I still have the concert ticket… Billy Joel and Elton John were performing together at The Hoosier Dome in Indianapolis.
      3 of my buddies and myself had good seats for the show and that Friday after work, we loaded up a cooler with beer and hit the road from Cincinnati, which is about a 100 mile drive.  On our way there, just outside of Indy, we stopped at a gas station to take a piss from all of the beer (We had a designated driver) and I was starving as well, so I wanted to get something to eat.  They had a couple gas station sandwiches. The options were few, so I remember getting an egg salad sandwich (A GAS STATION EGG SALAD SANDWICH) and a bag of peanuts.  Mixed with copious amounts of beer, this would later prove to be a lethal combination. We hopped back in to the car and hit the road again. I proceeded to eat that foul egg salad sandwich and the peanuts and continued drinking beers. Now—-fast forward to the concert about an hour and a half later.  It was a sold out show and the people were packed in like sardines. We were at our seats in about the middle of our row and it was an intimate moment in the concert. Everyone was sitting down and I was too.
      Elton John was performing a beautiful rendition of “Candle in the wind”. Aside from the music, you could hear a pin drop amongst the unsuspecting and riveted crowd. ——- “Goodbye Norma Jean, though I never knew you at all, You had the grace to hold yourself While those around you crawled”:—— There was a harmonious and peaceful ambiance in the air….  That ambience in the air was about to change—- drastically—-and something besides that candle was about to begin blowing in the wind, as I felt that unholy egg salad sandwich, beer and peanuts begin to percolate deep within the bowels of my stomach. It felt like someone was bowlin in my colon or like a dark and rumbling storm was a brewin, which it was…
      It was the darkest hour, of the darkest night in my gut. The storm that was brewing inside of me could have been given a name by the weather people, it was so bad. Tropical Depression Egg Salad Sandy. Even though it was an intimate moment, I had no fear that the monstrous gas bubble that was emerging within me would be heard because the music as soothing as it was, was still loud..
      My immediate fear as my ass began to puckerfy, was that I would shart my pants.  Nodding my head to the music as the sweat began to bead on my brow, I put on my best Eric Cartman grin and nervously glanced around. The thought crossed my mind to get up and make my way through the row and head towards the bathroom.
      I looked to the left and to the right and thought, I am screwed.  Sure enough I was dead center and either way I headed, was a long haul and I would be sure to CROP DUST everyone along the way. If that were to happen, there really was no way I could come back to my seat without suffering some type of injury…No, I was beyond the point of no return and whatever was going to happen was going to happen here where I sat. I loosened up my sphincter muscle ever so slightly to test the outcome and nothing but warm, rotten air came out——good—-no shart, I thought, so not having much choice in the matter, I relaxed my hold and like air escaping from a balloon, I let loose. FFLLLPPPRRRGGGHHHFFFPPPFFFF. It was a dry heat as they say and about two seconds in to the evacuation, this eye watering, powerful, God awful, the worst fucking fart you have ever smelled or could imagine, in your life began to hit my nose. If you like egg salad, you might actually have enjoyed the smell for a second, had you been walking in to a kitchen where egg salad was being prepared but there was no mistaking what this was. Oooooo shit…. Decision time. This is DEFINITELY going to cause a scene——-  ———“And it seems to me you lived your life, like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to turn to when the rain set in” ——— continued on. My buddy Keith was sitting next to me on my right hand side innocently nodding his head to the music, enjoying the show, without a clue of what was about to happen to him and how his world was about to be turned upside down and rocked. Because I decided in the blink of a watery eye that Keith, my good friend Keith, was going to have to take the fall on this one. As the stench began to grow like a mushroom cloud, I pulled up my shirt over my nose and looked at him and with the most disgusted look I could muster in my eyes, I said very loudly “OOOOH KEEEIIITH!” While simultaneously pointing my thumb at him and giving him a malevolent wink of the eye… He looked at me just as that lethal gas wafted across his face as he was breathing in, and I will never forget it. He had a puzzled look at first and then, if you have ever seen a bunny rabbit’s nose twitch up and down, that is what Keith’s nose looked like as he sniffed the air. He looked perplexed for a split second and then he started gagging at the smell.  The look of horror was dawning on him that everyone around us was looking at his disgusting, rude, ass for being the offender as I pointed at him with a sour and indicting mug. Only about five seconds had passed since this odor from hell was released but it had already spread to about a ten foot perimeter from the epicenter and it was quickly expanding. I would be dead if looks could kill as Keith lost his breath and pulled his shirt up over his nose and started throwing the accusations back at me. The packed crowd became restless as murmers, coughs and outcries were beginning to emanate around us. The poor soul who was sitting directly in front of me, next to his girl, with his head practically between my knees, God bless his innocent soul, turned his head around with whiplash speed looking like he was going to throw a punch as the fart began to crawl down his and his lovely dates shirts to settle in, and he saw Keith and I pointing at each other. I shamelessly looked back at him with a look that was meant to say “I know” and pointed to my buddy and said “It wasn’t me, it was him”. Both he and his lady slid down in their seats pulling their shirts up over their faces. It was all I could do to hold my look of repugnance at Keith and not bust out in hysterics. Hearing shouting behind me, I looked back and a girl about five rows behind me was standing up leaning down towards us yelling “WHO THE FUCK DID THAT!!!!!!!? I swear it’s true, she looked like she was PISSED OFFF—-I stuck my arm in the air and pointed down at Keith who looking scandalized, replied in kind and continued denying everything and condemning me … ——And I would have liked to have known you, but I was just a kid. Your candle burned out long before, your legend ever did———played on… From the front of our section I could see a flashlight pointing in our direction from the usher trying to see what the commotion was about and why our entire section was coughing and gagging and why there was much gnashing of teeth. He started up the stairs in the aisle and made it to our row and his face scrunched up like he just smelled dirty ass and he headed back down to his post… This went on for about 10 minutes. Everyone within about 15 rows in all directions pretty much forgot all about the Candle in the wind and joined in, in the outrage—-hoping there really was a candle in the wind—-scented…  Even though, as they say, “The smeller is the feller” I knew that while there were probably a lot of people looking at me like I could have been the culprit, more of them were looking at Keith as the bad guy.  If I was going to go down, I wasn’t going to go down alone on this one, and I didn’t. I took my buddy with me and we both fell on that stinky sword. Well, I pretty much pushed him on to it but still… That fart was thick and it lingered nearby for about 15 minutes and I guarantee you that anyone who was unlucky enough to have been in the vicinity of that vile and sinful smell that night, when they look back at that Elton John/Billy Joel concert, that will be their first thought. I know it is mine….

    • tonyc38

      Easy—-3 of my buddies and myself were going to be flying to Amsterdam from Cincinnati. It was the first time to Europe for all of us and we were totally excited. We got to the airport a couple hours early because we thought we would have to go through customs and didn’t know what to expect.
      Turns out, our flight went through Detroit where we had to board another plane and that is where we would go through customs, so we had a couple hours to kill.
      Naturally, we headed to the bar and began to drink—-a lot.  We were pretty pumped about going to Amsterdam so it was a total party at the bar before we boarded our flight and proceeded to party like rock stars on the way to Detroit.
      Once in Detroit and having gone through customs, we still had about 45 minutes to kill, so of course we headed to the bar there and continued drinking.  After they announced that we could begin boarding, myself and my buddy Keith got up to head to our gate. The other two, Chuck and Kevin, said they were going to have one more shot before boarding, so we told them we would see them on the plane.
      About 20 minutes later, I am sitting in my seat next to Keith and the plane is pretty much packed. It was a big 747 and hearing before seeing them coming down the aisle, comes Kevin and Chuck, laughing and being loud and Chuck has a camcorder in his hand and he is filming his progression to their assigned seats.
      Unbeknownst to us, the flight crew from our flight to Detroit had contacted our current flight crew to let them know that they had some people coming aboard who were clearly inebriated and to be aware. Kevin and Chuck had the two seats in front of Keith and I who were sitting quietly in our seats, and Chuck is standing up in the aisle doing a slow pan around the plane with his camcorder and says “Would you look at the size of this fucking plane” –to which a gentleman with his family across the aisle said “HEY, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE. THERE ARE CHILDREN ABOARD!” … I told Chuck to sit down and be quiet when over the intercom we hear a voice say “Would the passengers in seats 38 B and 38 A please come to the front of the plane?” It took me a second to realize that it was Chuck and Kevin who were being summoned when again the announcement was made.
      “That’s you guys” I told them as a steward was fast approaching our way. Chuck turned off his camcorder and they headed to the front of the plane, after Kevin chastised him saying “I told you to be quiet”.
      About 20 minutes went by before I told my buddy Keith that I was going to go to the front of the plane to see what is going on. I walked to the front of the plane and looked out the entrance door in the tarmac and saw about 5 police officers and one of them was slamming Kevin against the wall and man handling his arm behind his back and I could hear Kevin saying “What, I didn’t say I have a bomb, I said it’s not like we HAVE a bomb”.
      I looked at the drama unfolding and said “Hey what’s going on here?” A police officer looked at me and said “Are you with them?” I said, yeah, we are going to Europe together. He replied, these two aren’t going anywhere tonight and unless you want to join them, I suggest you get back to your seat. I headed back to my seat and told Keith what I had seen. What should we do, he asked me.. I told him that I was going to Amsterdam and I wasn’t about to get off the plane and he agreed.
      By now our flight had been delayed and people are giving Keith and I the evil eye, even though we hadn’t done a thing, when the flight attendant approaches us and said that our friends had been arrested and during the flight, they would not be serving Keith and I any alcohol, loud enough for everyone around us to hear. Whatever, I said, and closed my eyes with my headphones on and tried to pretend I wasn’t being stared at. It was an overnight flight to Amsterdam which was uneventful and after spending the night in the drunk tank, Kevin and Chuck were fortunate enough to catch the next evenings flight and meet us there a day later. The funny thing, is after we got back from vacation, we watched the video tape and all leading up to the incident, Chuck was filming us party and then, their progress down the aisle, and him saying “Would you look at the size of this fucking plane, up to hearing their names being called to come to the front.
      That is where it went black and the next scene you see is Chuck, standing in front of a police cruiser saying “Well, we just got out of jail”—-and so the adventure continued……..

    • tonyc38

      I know—— It ended as a bad hookup and it was entirely my fault. The best thing to have done was indeed say goodbye at least but I was young and thoughtless at the time. I had been in a relationship from the time I was nineteen until I was 24 and the girl cheated on me and broke my heart several times before becoming desensitized to all of the ups and downs before finally ending it. It was this time in my life when this occurred and I pulled the cowards move and ran from her room…

    • tonyc38

      I Hooked up with a girl while I was on a road trip in Memphis. We went back to her room and while we were doing it, she asked me to tell her that I love her. I was kind of in mid thrust and stopped and looked at her like she had three eyeballs and she said “Tell me that you love me”——so I continued my thrust and said “I love you” and she grabbed on to me and said “Oh, I fucking love you too—I love you, I love you” and it was actually pretty hot, even though I could barely remember her name. We probably made love for a good hour or so, which was a long time in our inebriated state and throughout, I kept telling her how much I loved her and how incredible she was and she did the same and then we passed out. I woke up at about six in the morning and she was still fast asleep. I inched myself out of bed, got dressed as quietly as possible and snuck out of her room. I caught a cab and took it back to the hotel where my buddies were at and realized I had left my wallet in her room. I had to have the cab driver take me back to her room and told him to wait, while I went and got my wallet. I went to her room and knock on the door. She was already awake and when she answered the door, she had a pissed off look on her face and she was holding my wallet in her hand. She threw it at me and said “You didn’t even fucking say goodbye to me you asshole” and slammed the door in my face……

    • tonyc38

      This isn’t a pee story but it is a doody story and it’s pretty bad. It was right around this time of year ten years ago. I work in the city and live in the suburbs about 25 miles north.
      I was about to get off work and head to my car when the thought that it might be a good idea to go #2 before I left the office occurred to me.
      Nah, I can wait until I get home, I said to myself and off I went. During my commute which on a good day takes about 40 minutes and on a bad day depending on weather or accidents, it can take up to a couple hours, during my commute, the feeling that I may have made a mistake about not going to the bathroom before I left the office began to grow as the sweat began to bead on my brow and I began to press my arse down in to the seat. I decided that I would take the exit about 8 miles before my exit and I would use the bathroom in Best Buy. I had to stop there sometime soon anyways to do some holiday shopping and now would be opportune to kill two birds with one stone. Big mistake—-I pulled off the exit and got stuck in holiday traffic and if anyone has ever taken the Fields Ertel exit in Cincinnati, you know exactly what I mean. By now, I was really starting to freak out because for lack of a better phrase, I had to take a fucking shit REALLY BAD. Up to this point, I had the stereo turned up loud but I had to turn that shit down so I could focus keeping it all packed in. I was squeezing my ass cheeks together like I was trying to crack walnuts, as I finally pulled in to The Best Buy parking lot about 15 minutes later and I was deeply relieved that I had made it there.
      Just get out of the car and RUN to the bathroom if you have to is all I was thinking and I gingerly made my way in to the store, hoping and praying that the bathroom was close to the entrance. I asked the greeter or door guy, whatever you call him “Excuse me but where is the bathroom?” trying to look like I wasn’t about to shit my pants.
      He looked back at me and kind of pointed his arm in an arching motion as if to convey, the journey is very long Kimosabe, and he said “It’s all the way in the back, over in that corner”.
      At this point, I am literally busting out little cluster bombs of gas as I looked in the direction he pointed and as if I was in one of those movies where you look down the hall and it seems to streeeetch out, that is what I felt. Thank you, I said as I began to crop dust my way in the direction indicated. I was literally PRAYING that I could make it there as I was walking with my legs locked together with a look of panic on my face when OOOH NOOOO—-OOOO FUCK NOOOOO—it began to come out—-NOOOOO—-it was like a turtle head at first just slowly poking out to see what was going on and it liked it, because no matter how hard I tightened my sphincter muscle, it was not going to be held back any longer.
      I wasn’t even halfway to the bathroom when I began to fully shit my pants while I was walking. Now—-do you want to talk about a HORRIFYING feeling? This was Best Buy at Christmas time and it was about ten years ago before people were really doing cyber shopping and that shit. This store was packed. I was walking towards the bathroom trying to not make eye contact with anyone and God forbid, I should run in to anyone I actually knew. Please God, Please God, Please God, don’t let anyone be in the bathroom when I get there I prayed.
      I finally got to the bathroom and it was unlocked and a stall was open and I was still shitting. Have you ever tried to take your pants off while you are actually shitting? It isn’t fun or easy but I did manage to plug the gap long enough to get them off, so as to not shit all over the outside of my pants as well even though that shit was beginning to run up my back by now. I won’t go in to the details of what happened next and the terrible and long job of cleanup duty but it really sucked…….

    • tonyc38

      Here is a story about the most terrifying experience I have ever had in my life. It involves the supernatural and a Ouija Board and it is true.
      I guess it had to have been 1989. I had just turned 21. I was a marketing manager for a chiropractor and had just got off work at about 7PM. My car was in the shop so my co-worker Becky gave me a ride home. Becky was probably about 15 years older than me and she was really in to Wicca, which is a modern pagan witchcraft religion.
      She gave me a ride home and it was wintertime, so it was already dark and I asked her if she wanted to come in for a drink and she said sure. So we went inside and were having some drinks, listening to music, talking about work, did a little partying and our conversation turned to Wicca.
      We were in my living room and the lights were down low and I had a couple candles going and she started to explain what Wicca was and her experience with it. She was telling me that she had performed some spells for healing, protection and getting rid of negative influences etc. and that even though she considered herself to be a white witch, it wasn’t an evil thing. More of a spiritual thing.
      By this point we had a pretty good buzz on and I asked her if she had ever had any scary supernatural experiences. She kind of looked at me a little hesitantly and then said, “Yeah, I have”.
      So let’s hear it I said and she went on to tell me that she used to work for this old manufacturing company down in Newport, KY. It was in a building that was well over 100 years old, and apparently it had ties to the slave trade back in the day.
      She said that the 3rd and 4th floors were rumored to have ghosts and that she never flat out saw a ghost herself, but you would always see movement out of the corner of your eye but nothing would actually be there or you would sense a presence and other strange occurrences and that some workers actually claimed to have seen ghosts.
      She said she never went to the 4th floor warehouse alone, and no one else would either, just because of the bad feeling that you would get, but the really bad thing was one day when her and a co-worker were actually talking about the building and the ghosts one evening she felt a cold hand press against her back and she lost it. She screamed, and pretty much ran out of the building and never went back.
      She was serious about it—I could tell that it still affected her.
      She had done a pretty good job of creeping us both out, so we cracked open another beer and we were passing a bottle of booze back and forth and I said to her “Have you ever played with a Ouija Board”? I swear to this day, I will never forget the look she gave me—her head snapped towards me and one of her eyes narrowed and you could just feel the tension and fear in her voice and she said “Tony, don’t EVER play with a Ouija Board”.
      Chills ran down my spine the way she said it and the look on her face.
      Her reaction really freaked me out and I didn’t want to tell her that I actually had one in my hall closet. It was my roommates actually but I never really gave it too much thought.
      Why not, I asked her. She went on to tell me a story about a friend of hers who used to play on a Ouija board with her and some other friends when they were younger and that they were all believers that they were indeed contacting spirits but her one friend started to become obsessed. So much so, that she would play with the Ouija board by herself every day, eventually becoming distant and withdrawn, getting sick looking, and paranoid and then finally committing suicide to make a long story short.
      By this point, we were both really CREEPED out and I said “Damn, I have a Ouija board in the hall closet and I don’t even want to walk past it to get to my room. “YOU DO NOT” she said. I do, it’s my roommates but it is in the hall closet and my room is on the other side I said, kind of laughing a little bit with false bravado.
      “She stood up and said “I’m out of here. I have to go, will you walk me to my car please”? She was scared to death and was dropping her stuff in her rush to get away. You didn’t tell me you have a fucking Ouija board here. I have to go, WILL YOU WALK ME TO MY CAR? She asked again. Yeah, of course I said and I walked her out to her car. It was probably about 11:00 or midnight at this point and when we got to her car, she gave me a hug and said “Tony, get rid of that fucking thing as soon as possible” and she got in her car and drove away.
      Great, I thought and I walked back inside and as soon as I stepped inside of the house, all of the hair on my entire body stood up and I got the chills like I never have before. I went in to the front room and turned everything off and started heading towards my room and towards the Ouija board in the closet and I became very alarmed—-hell I was terrified.
      I literally stood at the end of the hall for a minute or two, it seemed like forever and could not take another step just looking at the closet. It was a closet that had the fixed split rails, kind of like blinds, so it wasn’t a solid door and I could swear, I could sense something watching me through the narrow slats –something evil and it was on high alert waiting for me to move.
      I stood there for a while longer debating whether I should leave the house and had my car not been in the shop, I probably would have but you could cut the fear with a knife.
      This is ridiculous, I thought and I started to silently recite The Lords Prayer “Our Father, who art in heaven” and I went through the whole prayer and could feel the beast in the closet getting angrier, so I said it out loud again and deliberately walked past the closet to my bedroom and as I was walking past the closet, praying out loud, I was more terrified, scared and creeped out than I have ever been in my life. I have chills right now just thinking about it.
      I made it to my room and I don’t remember how long it took for me to go to sleep but indeed sleep did come and when I woke up the next morning, I was still in a semi state of panic. I got out of bed and got ready for work. It was trash day that day so I opened up the closet and looked at the Ouija board and had this foreboding sense that it was alive and that it was looking at me with hatred and vengeance and I grabbed it and unceremoniously shoved it in to a plastic trash bag. I tied it up and took it out to the trash can and shoved it in and covered it with the lid, and took the trash out to the curb.
      I went to work that with it still weighing heavily on my mind all day. It felt like even though it was gone, it really wasn’t. Like it had imprinted me and was with me. I kept thinking about the look on Becky’s face when she said “Tony, NEVER play with a Ouija board” and her look of panic when she found out there was one in the house.
      I got off work and it was raining—a cold rain, and not just the temperature, it was an unkind rain, as if evil were raining down on me. I got to my car and drove home thinking about the Ouija board. I pulled in to my driveway and saw that the trash can had been brought in off the curb. My roommate must have come home during the day and brought in the trash cans but his car wasn’t there. He worked at a restaurant so he was always working crazy hours.
      I went inside and walked to the closet. I had to make sure it was gone. I had to make sure it had not came back and I opened up the closet door, my hand was trembling and I looked up to where it had been the night before and like it had never been taken out to the trash, the Ouija board sat there on the top shelf looking down at me. The shock was so intense, that I stumbled backwards against the wall and fell down. I was on my ass looking up and It was like my legs would not work and I couldn’t get up and as I let out a scream, the Ouija board slid off the shelf towards me and it made an evil hissing noise and landed on my lap.
      I woke up in the hospital 2 days later with cuts all over my body and I saw my roommate sitting next to my bed looking both scared and relieved.  After I got out of the hospital, I woke up the next night with a cold fever and sweat was dripping off of my forehead and I went to the bathroom to get an aspirin and I stood looking at my reflection in the mirror and I opened the medicine cabinet and got the aspirin and when I closed the door, I could see a reflection of my friend Becky in the mirror standing behind me and she was laughing and when I turned around no one was there…

    • tonyc38

      Have you ever really been creeped out? Of course you have, we all have and I was a little creeped out last night when my wife woke me up in the middle of the night saying someone’s downstairs but that only lasted a few seconds really.
      Here is a story about the most terrifying experience I have ever had in my life. It involves the supernatural and it is true. I guess it had to have been 1989. I had just turned 21. I was a marketing manager for a chiropractor and had just got off work at about 7PM. My car was in the shop so my co-worker Becky gave me a ride home. Becky was probably about 15 years older than me and she was really in to Wicca, which is a modern pagan witchcraft religion. She gave me a ride home and it was wintertime, so it was already dark and I asked her if she wanted to come in for a drink and she said sure. So we went inside and were having some drinks, listening to music, talking about work, did a little partying and our conversation turned to Wicca.
      We were in my living room and the lights were down low and I had a couple candles going and she started to explain what Wicca was and her experience with it. She was telling me that she had performed some spells for healing, protection and getting rid of negative influences etc. and that even though she considered herself to be a white witch, it wasn’t an evil thing. More of a spiritual thing. By this point we had a pretty good buzz on and I asked her if she had ever had any scary supernatural experiences. She kind of looked at me a little hesitantly and then said, “Yeah, I have”.
      So let’s hear it I said and she went on to tell me that she used to work for this old manufacturing company down in Newport, KY. It was in a building that was well over 100 years old, and apparently it had ties to the slave trade back in the day.
      She said that the 3rd and 4th floors were rumored to have ghosts and that she never flat out saw a ghost herself, but you would always see movement out of the corner of your eye but nothing would actually be there or you would sense a presence and other strange occurrences and that some workers actually claimed to have seen ghosts.
      She said she never went to the 4th floor warehouse alone, and no one else would either, just because of the bad feeling that you would get, but the really bad thing was one day when her and a co-worker were actually talking about the building and the ghosts one evening she felt a cold hand press against her back and she lost it. She screamed, and pretty much ran out of the building and never went back.
      She was serious about it—I could tell that it still affected her. She had done a pretty good job of creeping us both out, so we cracked open another beer and we were passing a bottle of booze back and forth and I said to her “Have you ever played with a Ouija Board”? I swear to this day, I will never forget the look she gave me—her head snapped towards me and one of her eyes narrowed and you could just feel the tension and fear in her voice and she said “Tony, don’t EVER play with a Ouija Board”.
      Chills ran down my spine the way she said it and the look on her face. Her reaction really freaked me out and I didn’t want to tell her that I actually had one in my hall closet. It was my roommates actually but I never really gave it too much thought.
      Why not, I asked her. She went on to tell me a story about a friend of hers who used to play on a Ouija board with her and some other friends when they were younger and that they were all believers that they were indeed contacting spirits but her one friend started to become obsessed. So much so, that she would play with the Ouija board by herself every day, eventually becoming distant and withdrawn, getting sick looking, and paranoid and then finally committing suicide to make a long story short. By this point, we were both really CREEPED out and I said “Damn, I have a Ouija board in the hall closet and I don’t even want to walk past it to get to my room. “YOU DO NOT” she said. I do, it’s my roommates but it is in the hall closet and my room is on the other side I said, kind of laughing a little bit with false bravado. “She stood up and said “I’m out of here. I have to go, will you walk me to my car please”? She was scared to death and was dropping her stuff in her rush to get away. You didn’t tell me you have a fucking Ouija board here. I have to go, WILL YOU WALK ME TO MY CAR? She asked again. Yeah, of course I said and I walked her out to her car. It was probably about 11:00 or midnight at this point and when we got to her car, she gave me a hug and said “Tony, get rid of that fucking thing as soon as possible” and she got in her car and drove away. Great, I thought and I walked back inside and as soon as I stepped inside of the house, all of the hair on my entire body stood up and I got the chills like I never have before. I went in to the front room and turned everything off and started heading towards my room and towards the Ouija board in the closet and I became very alarmed—-hell I was terrified.
      I literally stood at the end of the hall for a minute or two, it seemed like forever and could not take another step just looking at the closet. It was a closet that had the fixed split rails, kind of like blinds, so it wasn’t a solid door and I could swear, I could sense something watching me through the narrow slats –something evil and it was on high alert waiting for me to move. I stood there for a while longer debating whether I should leave the house and had my car not been in the shop, I probably would have but you could cut the fear with a knife. This is ridiculous, I thought and I started to silently recite The Lords Prayer “Our Father, who art in heaven” and I went through the whole prayer and could feel the beast in the closet getting angrier, so I said it out loud again and deliberately walked past the closet to my bedroom and as I was walking past the closet, praying out loud, I was more terrified, scared and creeped out than I have ever been in my life. I have chills right now just thinking about it. I made it to my room and I don’t remember how long it took for me to go to sleep but indeed sleep did come and when I woke up the next morning, I was still in a semi state of panic. I got out of bed and got ready for work. It was trash day that day so I opened up the closet and looked at the Ouija board and had this foreboding sense that it was alive and that it was looking at me with hatred and vengeance and I grabbed it and unceremoniously shoved it in to a plastic trash bag. I tied it up and took it out to the trash can and shoved it in and covered it with the lid, and took the trash out to the curb. I went to work that with it still weighing heavily on my mind all day. It felt like even though it was gone, it really wasn’t. Like it had imprinted me and was with me. I kept thinking about the look on Becky’s face when she said “Tony, NEVER play with a Ouija board” and her look of panic when she found out there was one in the house. I got off work and it was raining—a cold rain, and not just the temperature, it was an unkind rain, as if evil were raining down on me. I got to my car and drove home thinking about the Ouija board. I pulled in to my driveway and saw that the trash can had been brought in off the curb. My roommate must have come home during the day and brought in the trash cans but his car wasn’t there. He worked at a restaurant so he was always working crazy hours. I went inside and walked to the closet. I had to make sure it was gone. I had to make sure it had not came back and I opened up the closet door, my hand was trembling and I looked up to where it had been the night before and like it had never been taken out to the trash, the Ouija board sat there on the top shelf looking down at me. The shock was so intense, that I stumbled backwards against the wall and fell down. I was on my ass looking up and It was like my legs would not work and I couldn’t get up and as I let out a scream, the Ouija board slid off the shelf towards me and it made an evil hissing noise and landed on my lap. I woke up in the hospital 2 days later with cuts all over my body and I saw my roommate sitting next to my bed looking both scared and relieved. After I got out of the hospital, I woke up the next night with a cold fever and sweat was dripping off of my forehead and I went to the bathroom to get an aspirin and I stood looking at my reflection in the mirror and I opened the medicine cabinet and got the aspirin and when I closed the door, I could see a reflection of my friend Becky in the mirror standing behind me and she was laughing and when I turned around no one was there…

    • tonyc38

      The Cleveland Browns were founded in 1946 under owner Arthur ‘Mickey’ McBride. At first, a fan contest was conducted to determine the name of the team, with the most popular choice being “Browns” after its first head coach, Paul Brown. Brown was uncomfortable with the idea of having the team named after him, and “Panthers” was then selected. However, a semi-pro team was using that name and threatened to sue if the AAFC club used it as well. Thus, Paul Brown reluctantly agreed to use the “Browns” name, but stated publicly that the new team was named after boxing champion Joe Louis, who was known as the “Brown Bomber.”