I Rewatched "Coyote Ugly" And I Had So Many Thoughts

Mr. O'Donnell may be shady, but he is hot.

Since Coyote Ugly turns 21 this month, I thought I would see if it holds up.

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I had so many thoughts. SO MANY. Here they are throughout my re-watch:

1. Jersey!!!! Even 42 miles outside of NYC, a Jersey girl can have dreams.

2. John Goodman is the best dad ever.

3. Violet clearly doesn’t want to be on stage. Foreshadowing?

4. John Goodman just predicted the future: “Handrails on the subway system could one day lead to an outbreak of the plague.”

5. Dead mom alert.

6. Drink that Pepto for the hangover, girl.

7. Violet’s hair is on point.

8. I know it’s 2000, but how can she afford an apartment in Chinatown?

9. Also, where did the cat come from?

10. Freezer? Is that a good idea for cash?

11. Friends who have never accomplished anything is what makes them special.

12. TAPES!! Omg. I am so old.

13. Awww. She is dropping her tapes off at record companies. Cute.

14. Wendy, GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS BISEXUAL.

15. We get it, bartender, you’re also a starving artist.

16. Mr. O’Donnell… so many thoughts. First, he is HAWT.

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17. Oh snap – he isn’t the manager – he is the short order cook!

18. Is Australia known for raises?

19. He might as well lie to this naïve girl and take advantage of her.

20. Ooooops, caught, Mr. O’Donnell.

21. I admire his commitment to the lie.

22. Kevin – of course, he’s a Kevin.

23. STOP STALKING VIOLET, KEVIN. This is no longer cute.

24. Not open mics – she has stage fright!

25. Men are still heckling women at open mics 21 years later – it’s a sport as old as time.

26. Ruh-oh. This is why money should be in the bank, not a freezer.

27. Free pie AND Tyra Banks is in the house!!!

28. Look at Tyra smize.

29. This dude went from sweet to creepy real fast.

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30. Maria Bello is TOUGH AF. You CANNOT be doing ‘dem drugs.

31. I wish this was every job interview.

32. SURPRISE Violet! You better be ready to shake your bon bons.

33. Should they be setting the bar on fire?

34. They waste a lot of alcohol!!!

35. Why check for drugs if one of the rules is…don’t do drugs?

36. $4 for a beer in NYC – what a deal!

37. I wouldn’t call Jose Cuervo “good booze”…

38. I think legally you have to serve water.

39. So, she gets fired for not knowing something pre-choreographed?

40. Yet, random strangers know the dance?

41. Violet might not know how to dance, but she can break up a fight!

42. I feel a montage coming on…

43. Gratuitous naked shadow alert.

44. Violet, the mean girl is lying!!!

45. FIRE MARSHALL! How will you make this $250, Violet?

46. Yes – let’s auction off a person. Great idea (sarcasm).

47. Was “coyote ugly” a common term back in the late '90s?

48. Violet isn’t going to date the stalker, is she? Albeit – he is hot.

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49. So many red flags, Violet!

50. What is Mr. O’Donnell doing now?

51. He is filming a miniseries. Thanks, IMDB!

52. Kevin will fix your problem through sex.

53. Basically, Violet will do anything for cash. And I am talking about the fish.

54. Was that chopstick dirty? So she licked it before putting it in her hair? That’s way worse than the fish, Vi.

55. WHO IS THIS CAT?

56. So many fights!

57. I don’t think that’s how jukeboxes work.

58. But a little karaoke never fails to solve any problem!

59. Okay – we get that Violet is a songwriter!

60. Where did he get these cardboard figures? And is this his apartment?

61. Do you think this is the first time that he’s had sex in front of these cardboard figures? Probably not. Just sayin’.

62. I like how only Kevin’s penis is covered.

63. This idea that stage fright is in your DNA…science.

64. I feel another montage coming on…

65. Look at THAT MacBook.

66. Again – they waste so much liquor.

67. Why do they play softball? What league is this?

68. Violet told you she has stage fright, Kevin. It’s genetic!

69. Finally, Kevin says something that makes sense.

70. And he’s back to trying to get her naked.

71. Tyra is back! She is, after all, on the poster for the movie.

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72. We’re in a drought, and they’re just pouring water everywhere.

73. I knew that photographer from The Village Voice was gonna be a problem.

74. NO, JOHN GOODMAN! Don’t be mad! She makes mad dollars!

75. I hate this blonde guy. HATE.

76. Dear Kevin, why are you pushing her? She said no.

77. Kevin is gonna mess this up...

78. ...And he messed it up.

79. Maria Bello’s longing look is Oscar-worthy.

80. Are we supposed to feel something for Kevin now?

81. Men grabbing you. Yes! Boyfriend in the bar. No!

82. Violet lost her boyfriend and her job. Savage.

83. Not another superfluous rooftop singing scene.

84. You’re 21….Why are you getting married?!?!?

85. Does John Goodman have a first name?

86. Dump Mr. O’Donnell, Vi. DUMP HIM.

87. William is his first name!

88. This is a good BFF.

89. And we’re back to these tapes.

90. Mr. O’Donnell has seemingly moved on.

91. Is there sexual tension between the nurse and William?

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92. Violet. Stage fright is not genetic. Fly little bird, fly!

93. Can a nurse ask out a patient?

94. Montage alert!

95. Vi is going for her dreams now.

96. She has upgraded to CDs.

97. Oh! Violet is now working at a swanky restaurant.

98. Were Maria Bello and Violet THAT close?

99. It just took a CD, NOT a tape to get noticed.

100. See. He didn’t move on.

101. Maria Bello has a heart!

102. Rolls of film – wowza. I am old.

103. Bowery Ballroom…1, 2, 3!

104. Of course, she has second thoughts.

105. William is the best dad!

106. Are they going to re-park the car?

107. Stage fright. Here we go.

108. OMG. SHE HAS TO BE SAVED BY A MAN.

109. Maria Bello’s proud look is Oscar-worthy.

110. I do like this song. Dammit.

111. Mean girl DOES care.

112. LeAnn Rimes! As herself! How did she get ahold of this song and record it so fast?

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113. Was this whole movie just about hot girls dancing on a bar?

114. Why is Tyra there? Shouldn’t she be studying for the bar exam?

115. Another human auction.

116. She found love and success.

117. But what happened to the cat?