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The Coffeemaker You Need If You're Anxious But Love Coffee

Bless you, Chemex.

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If you saw that photo and were like "WHAT IS THIS SORCERY," allow me to explain The Good News of how a Chemex makes coffee (in five easy steps).

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Step 1: GRIND

Grind up your fave coffee beans so that they're medium-coarse (unless you bought your beans already ground and then you're good to go, obvi).

Step 2: FILTER
Open a Chemex filter into a cone shape and place it into the top of the brewer. (Why the special filters? Well, they're a bit heavier and more absorbent, so they remove ~unwanted particles and oils~, making for a super-clean and fresh cup.) You could also opt for this reusable gold filter. 😍

Step 3: SCOOP
Scoop 1 tablespoon of ground coffee for every 5 ounces of water you plan to add.

Step 4: BLOOM
After boiling however many cups of water you decide to make, pour a small amount of water over the coffee grounds to wet them, and then wait about 30 seconds for them to “bloom,” which releases the most ~sensual~ flavors.

Step 5: POUR
After the grounds bloom, slowly pour the water over the grounds in a circular or back-and-forth motion until you reach your desired amount of coffee. (FYI, the lil' button toward the bottom of the carafe indicates it's half filled.)

ALL FINISHED!

First and foremost, Chemex coffee essentially makes love to your tastebuds.

Tom Vellner / BuzzFeed

I know, I know, the whole ~blooming~ thing sounds like some hipster-ass bullshit, but seriously, y'all: This process really does bring out all of the best flavors from the coffee beans. No matter what type of coffee I use, the taste is consistently rich and smooth — and better than French-press coffee, IMHO. I like my coffee like I like my men: not bitter. And my Chemex does not disappoint.

Second, the mindfulness that comes from slowly pouring hot water over this lil' cutie is my favorite form of self-care.

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The smell of coffee is already a de-stressor, so combine that with the intimate experience of crafting your own brew and your brain will likely send you an Edible Arrangement as a thank you.

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I get that it's convenient to press a button on a Keurig or Mr. Coffee machine, stare blankly as it makes some strange noises, and bam: It spits out brown water that gives you the jitters. But picture this instead:

You set aside 10 minutes of your morning. You boil some water in a lovely gooseneck kettle. You gently pour it over freshly ground coffee beans and watch as steam rises and coffee slowly drips into a gorgeous glass carafe. It allows you to slow down, catch your breath, and focus on nothing but the task in front of you. You then sip from your warm mug, knowing that this is your very own creation you didn't use anything digital to make. That is the magic of a Chemex.

Third, this thing is sturdier and easier to clean than my own human body.

Tom Vellner / BuzzFeed

All you have to do is toss out the filter, remove the carafe's adorable wooden belt, and rinse! Sometimes, I'll use a dish brush for a deeper clean.

And finally, it's chic as hell! There are no wires, it's beautifully designed, and your friends are guaranteed to ask "What is that??" like you're some sort of mysterious Parisian barista who smokes little cigarettes on their fire escape.

tynigh / Flickr / Via Flickr: tynigh

BTW, the classic model comes in four sizes: 3-cup, 6-cup, 8-cup, and 10-cup. (I have the 8-cup and, if it wasn't already abundantly clear, I love it.)

But don't just take it from me — Amazon reviewer J. Holmes says it best, TBH:

"I've been through a lot of coffeemakers, and hated them all 'til now. My biggest issue has always been cleanup! I'd leave coffee grounds in, be too lazy to clean it up later, get mold growing in the coffeemaker's reservoir. The Chemex solves all these problems AND makes a stunning cup of coffee. Making the coffee takes a bit longer, as you basically have to spend about five minutes or so watching and pouring... however, it's fun to do! I actually look forward to the task."

Side note: J. Holmes is a star Amazon customer and has been updating this Chemex review since 2009:

"Update: Well, I've had this coffee maker for about 8 months now, and I'm still loving it.
Update: Well, I've had this coffee maker for over 3 years now, and I'm STILL loving it. Works as well as it did the day I got it.
Update: Well, I've had this coffee maker for over 5 years now, still loving it, and still my only coffee maker.
Update: It's past 6 years now, still my only coffee maker and still loving it."

So, go ahead and set your current coffeemaker on fire, because a Chemex is probably cheaper, makes coffee that tastes 1,000 times better than the garbage you're sipping as you read this, and soothes your stress in the process.

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