40 Pregnancy Tweets That Have No Right To Be This Funny

    Grocery store cashier: "Having a party tonight?" Me: "Nope, just pregnant."


    4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: "I never want to do that again."

    zoevsuniverse/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @zoevsuniverse


    *pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let’s go to the hospital

    Buckylsotope/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @BuckyIsotope


    3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy.

    XplodingUnicorn/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn


    Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.

    leechee420/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @leechee420


    I just feel like there are steps you can probably take before this one https://t.co/mpntLoPcG1

    iAmTerrace/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @iAmTerrace


    Grocery store cashier: "Having a party tonight?" Me: "Nope, just pregnant."

    babyrabies/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @babyrabies


    5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now

    SufficientCharm/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @SufficientCharm


    *whispers to first-time pregnant lady* "Six years from now you'll be hiding in a closet, scrolling Twitter with dead eyes."

    MomOnFire/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @MomOnFire


    Yelp review for pregnancy: 1/5 stars Took way too long Overpriced Super uncomfortable & crowded Aesthetically just very bad No alcohol

    House_Feminist/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @House_Feminist


    Some days I want to time travel back to pregnant me and whisper, "Go take a nap. This is your last chance!"

    2questionable/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @2questionable


    If you eat a pregnant girls food, you're required to have the baby for her

    _Mo_lee_/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @_Mo_lee_



    Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.

    Twitter: @ToonieLane


    So, if you get pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have to stay there?

    Ameiam/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Ameiam


    Ask your doctor if you qualify for an extension. A 4th, possibly even 5th trimester can be very peaceful for the father. Congrats. https://t.co/CTdyI66in3

    Ryan Reynolds/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @VancityReynolds


    Pregnant Wife: Can you go ahead and strip the sheets off the guest bed and put them in the washer? Me: Is 9 at night really a good time to start a load of laundry? PW: I dunno. Is 9 at night really a good time to start a fight with your pregnant wife? Me: *does laundry*

    FunnyLikeAClown/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @FunnyLikeAClown


    girls just overthink to bits like when u get a pregnancy scare then get ur period, u start thinking of the fact that some people still get their periods while their pregnant 🤣 the panic jus never stops

    caseybyrne9/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @caseybyrne9


    Some girls tell me they wanted to party their asses off last night but one of them thought she might be pregnant. So, they had their cabbie stop at a CVS so she could buy a pregnancy test. Everything came back negative so they went ahead and got hammered. #Vegas

    LVCabChronicles/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @LVCabChronicles


    Of all the things that will make you puke repeatedly, pregnancy is the most magical.

    ThatEvansLady/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @ThatEvansLady


    By my third, I was showing before the pregnancy test dried.

    AnniemuMary/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @AnniemuMary


    Other pregnant woman: I like to do yoga and an hour of cardio each day. It helps me appreciate the wonders of what my body is capable of right now Me: I almost suffocated while trying to put my shoes on this morning

    saltymermaident/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @saltymermaident


    Pregnancy is fun. Sometimes we watch him kick and sometimes we argue about the diff. between white and yellow cheddar #pregnantwifeproblems

    IamAustinCG/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @IamAustinCG


    My husband told me he kind of wants another baby so, you guys, I’m going to go for it, I mean, really, how hard can it be to do a vasectomy?

    MamaFizzles/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @MamaFizzles


    Slightly more accurate baby shower card: "Sry you can't drink or fit in pants and your back hurts, but here's a present that's not for you!"

    megansayers/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @megansayers


    Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot

    lazerdoov/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @lazerdoov


    This is the quote I woke up to... "Can you turn over and face the other way? Your breath is making me nauseous." #PregnantWifeLife

    ChrisnotBritton/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @ChrisnotBritton


    Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows

    Jenny4ashley/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Jenny4ashley


    My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn.

    FullMetalMommy/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @FullMetalMommy


    Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat.

    Caissie/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Caissie


    I just left a voicemail and said " please call me back at your convenience. Amen." Instead of "goodbye". #pregnancybrain is real y'all

    VirginiaWms/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @VirginiaWms


    You can't get pregnant from sex with a condom, only from sex with a person

    donni/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @donni


    Dollar Tree pregnancy tests. For when you only want to be 35% sure.

    elizaleela/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @elizaleela


    This pregnancy has taught me: one jar of pickles is not enough. #pregnancyproblems @chrissyteigen

    Rebeksy/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Rebeksy


    "You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie

    MacAnnabella/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @MacAnnabella


    Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.

    kentgrossarth/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @kentgrossarth


    That terrifying moment when your in the bath and can't see your vagina anymore ...😭 🔫#pregnancyproblems #knewthisdaywouldcome

    Mallory0502/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Mallory0502


    Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot

    lazerdoov/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @lazerdoov


    Hey guys. Stop touching your wife's pregnant belly in pictures. We get it, you came in her.

    JennyJohnsonHi5/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @JennyJohnsonHi5


    My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat.

    beefman138/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @beefman138


    Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.

    ToonieLane/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @ToonieLane

    Which pregnancy tweets made you LOL? Let us know in the comments below!

    This article contains content from Tom Vellner, Mike Spohr, and EN_Fogg. It was compiled by Salimah McCullough.