Goodful·Updated on Sep 30, 202240 Pregnancy Tweets That Have No Right To Be This FunnyGrocery store cashier: "Having a party tonight?" Me: "Nope, just pregnant."by Tom VellnerBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. Zoe vs. the Universe @zoevsuniverse 4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: "I never want to do that again." 09:22 PM - 21 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite zoevsuniverse/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @zoevsuniverse 2. Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @BuckyIsotope *pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let’s go to the hospital 03:15 AM - 17 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite Buckylsotope/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @BuckyIsotope 3. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy. 01:06 AM - 30 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite XplodingUnicorn/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn 4. The Alicianater @leechee420 Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be. 03:22 AM - 14 Feb 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite leechee420/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @leechee420 5. yes. @iAmTerrace I just feel like there are steps you can probably take before this one https://t.co/mpntLoPcG1 09:07 AM - 21 May 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite iAmTerrace/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @iAmTerrace 6. Jill Krause @babyrabies Grocery store cashier: "Having a party tonight?" Me: "Nope, just pregnant." 04:04 PM - 23 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite babyrabies/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @babyrabies 7. Sam @SufficientCharm 5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now 04:25 PM - 24 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite SufficientCharm/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @SufficientCharm 8. Burning Mom @MomOnFire *whispers to first-time pregnant lady* "Six years from now you'll be hiding in a closet, scrolling Twitter with dead eyes." 12:53 PM - 15 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite MomOnFire/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @MomOnFire 9. sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist Yelp review for pregnancy: 1/5 stars Took way too long Overpriced Super uncomfortable & crowded Aesthetically just very bad No alcohol 05:25 PM - 08 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite House_Feminist/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @House_Feminist 10. MyQuestionableLife @2questionable Some days I want to time travel back to pregnant me and whisper, "Go take a nap. This is your last chance!" 11:30 PM - 19 Jan 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 2questionable/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @2questionable 11. Moe @_Mo_lee_ If you eat a pregnant girls food, you're required to have the baby for her 11:09 AM - 19 Aug 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite _Mo_lee_/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @_Mo_lee_ 12. Jenny4ashley/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Jenny4ashley 13. αlly @ToonieLane Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried. 06:16 PM - 15 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ToonieLane 14. Amy W @Ameiam So, if you get pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have to stay there? 03:50 AM - 11 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite Ameiam/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Ameiam 15. Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds Ask your doctor if you qualify for an extension. A 4th, possibly even 5th trimester can be very peaceful for the father. Congrats. https://t.co/CTdyI66in3 12:53 PM - 11 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Ryan Reynolds/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @VancityReynolds 16. Jame, singular @FunnyLikeAClown Pregnant Wife: Can you go ahead and strip the sheets off the guest bed and put them in the washer? Me: Is 9 at night really a good time to start a load of laundry? PW: I dunno. Is 9 at night really a good time to start a fight with your pregnant wife? Me: *does laundry* 01:16 AM - 14 Apr 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite FunnyLikeAClown/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @FunnyLikeAClown 17. casey byrne @caseybyrne9 girls just overthink to bits like when u get a pregnancy scare then get ur period, u start thinking of the fact that some people still get their periods while their pregnant 🤣 the panic jus never stops 03:52 PM - 15 Apr 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite caseybyrne9/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @caseybyrne9 18. LV Cabbie Chronicles @LVCabChronicles Some girls tell me they wanted to party their asses off last night but one of them thought she might be pregnant. So, they had their cabbie stop at a CVS so she could buy a pregnancy test. Everything came back negative so they went ahead and got hammered. #Vegas 07:50 AM - 16 Apr 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite LVCabChronicles/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @LVCabChronicles 19. Unremarkable Files @ThatEvansLady Of all the things that will make you puke repeatedly, pregnancy is the most magical. 12:33 AM - 29 Jan 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite ThatEvansLady/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @ThatEvansLady 20. Mary @AnniemuMary By my third, I was showing before the pregnancy test dried. 04:39 PM - 17 Sep 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite AnniemuMary/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @AnniemuMary 21. Salty Mermaid Entertainment @saltymermaident Other pregnant woman: I like to do yoga and an hour of cardio each day. It helps me appreciate the wonders of what my body is capable of right now Me: I almost suffocated while trying to put my shoes on this morning 01:43 PM - 24 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite saltymermaident/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @saltymermaident 22. Christopher Grebe @IamAustinCG Pregnancy is fun. Sometimes we watch him kick and sometimes we argue about the diff. between white and yellow cheddar #pregnantwifeproblems 09:04 PM - 31 Jan 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite IamAustinCG/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @IamAustinCG 23. MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles My husband told me he kind of wants another baby so, you guys, I’m going to go for it, I mean, really, how hard can it be to do a vasectomy? 07:27 PM - 06 Feb 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite MamaFizzles/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @MamaFizzles 24. Megan Sayers Chapham @megansayers Slightly more accurate baby shower card: "Sry you can't drink or fit in pants and your back hurts, but here's a present that's not for you!" 12:09 PM - 24 Aug 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite megansayers/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @megansayers 25. Dan Duvall @lazerdoov Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot 04:49 AM - 05 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite lazerdoov/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @lazerdoov 26. Chris Pendleton @ChrisnotBritton This is the quote I woke up to... "Can you turn over and face the other way? Your breath is making me nauseous." #PregnantWifeLife 04:15 PM - 24 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite ChrisnotBritton/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @ChrisnotBritton 27. RaspberryheART @Jenny4ashley Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows 02:02 PM - 07 Sep 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Jenny4ashley/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Jenny4ashley 28. full metal mommy @FullMetalMommy My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn. 04:20 PM - 09 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite FullMetalMommy/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @FullMetalMommy 29. Caissie @Caissie Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat. 05:57 PM - 16 Dec 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Caissie/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Caissie 30. Virginia Williams @VirginiaWms I just left a voicemail and said " please call me back at your convenience. Amen." Instead of "goodbye". #pregnancybrain is real y'all 10:28 PM - 14 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite VirginiaWms/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @VirginiaWms 31. donni saphire @donni You can't get pregnant from sex with a condom, only from sex with a person 08:53 PM - 25 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite donni/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @donni 32. elizaleela (Sarah...) @elizaleela Dollar Tree pregnancy tests. For when you only want to be 35% sure. 10:17 PM - 21 Jul 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite elizaleela/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @elizaleela 33. Rebecca K. @Rebeksy This pregnancy has taught me: one jar of pickles is not enough. #pregnancyproblems @chrissyteigen 08:48 PM - 18 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite Rebeksy/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Rebeksy 34. KungPow Turkey @MacAnnabella "You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie 01:28 AM - 14 Oct 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite MacAnnabella/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @MacAnnabella 35. I Kent even @kentgrossarth Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative. 07:21 PM - 17 Feb 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite kentgrossarth/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @kentgrossarth 36. Mallory @Mallory0502 That terrifying moment when your in the bath and can't see your vagina anymore ...😭 🔫#pregnancyproblems #knewthisdaywouldcome 04:10 AM - 21 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite Mallory0502/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Mallory0502 37. Dan Duvall @lazerdoov Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot 04:49 AM - 05 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite lazerdoov/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @lazerdoov 38. Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5 Hey guys. Stop touching your wife's pregnant belly in pictures. We get it, you came in her. 08:10 PM - 27 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite JennyJohnsonHi5/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @JennyJohnsonHi5 39. Nicken Drumsticks @beefman138 My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat. 10:25 AM - 17 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite beefman138/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @beefman138 40. αlly @ToonieLane Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried. 06:16 PM - 15 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite ToonieLane/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @ToonieLane Which pregnancy tweets made you LOL? Let us know in the comments below! This article contains content from Tom Vellner, Mike Spohr, and EN_Fogg. It was compiled by Salimah McCullough.