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25 High School Mascots That'll Make You Say "Wait, What?"

BUCKLE UP: They're all nightmare fuel.

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1. The Sugarbeeters (Chinook High School, Chinook, Montana)

Like Edward Scissorhands, but with beaters as feet and a thousand times more horrifying.
Facebook: ChinookHighSchool

Like Edward Scissorhands, but with beaters as feet and a thousand times more horrifying.

2. The Appleknockers (Cobden High School, Cobden, Illinois)

I'm all set, thanks.
scorestream.com

I'm all set, thanks.

3. The Awesome Blossoms (Blooming Prairie High School, Blooming Prairie, Minnesota)

Um?

4. The Bombers (Richland High School, Richland, Washington)

Richland is home to the Hanford nuclear site, which supplied plutonium for the nuclear bomb detonated over Nagasaki, hence why their symbol is a MUSHROOM CLOUD and why student chants have included "Nuke 'em 'til they glow!" and "Proud of the cloud!" Get 👏 rid 👏 of 👏 this 👏
Flickr: theslowlane

Richland is home to the Hanford nuclear site, which supplied plutonium for the nuclear bomb detonated over Nagasaki, hence why their symbol is a MUSHROOM CLOUD and why student chants have included "Nuke 'em 'til they glow!" and "Proud of the cloud!"

Get 👏 rid 👏 of 👏 this 👏

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5. The Cornjerkers (Hoopeston Area High School, Hoopeston, Illinois)

Hoopeston is the "sweet corn capital of the world," and before modern machinery, corn had to be jerked off the stalk.*giggles uncontrollably* 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
cornjerkerapparel.com

Hoopeston is the "sweet corn capital of the world," and before modern machinery, corn had to be jerked off the stalk.

*giggles uncontrollably* 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

6. The Galloping Ghosts (Kaukauna High School, Kaukauna, Wisconsin)

There are a couple of stories about where this, uh, interesting nickname came from, but it officially stuck around 1940, when something totally normal and not-at-all-disturbing happened: A student covered himself and his horse in bedsheets and galloped onto the football field to deliver the game ball.
kaukauna.k12.wi.us

There are a couple of stories about where this, uh, interesting nickname came from, but it officially stuck around 1940, when something totally normal and not-at-all-disturbing happened: A student covered himself and his horse in bedsheets and galloped onto the football field to deliver the game ball.

7. The Poca Dots (Poca High School, Poca, West Virginia)

JESUS.
pinterest.com

JESUS.

8. The Polo Marcos (Polo Community High School, Polo, Illinois)

Whose dad came up with this??
polo222.org

Whose dad came up with this??

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9. The Hoboes (Laurel Hill School, Laurel Hill, Florida)

Supposedly, the name became official when the boys’ basketball coach yelled at his team for their lack of hustle and called them a bunch of hoboes. 😕
en.wikipedia.org

Supposedly, the name became official when the boys’ basketball coach yelled at his team for their lack of hustle and called them a bunch of hoboes. 😕

10. The Honkers (Yuba City High School, Yuba City, California)

Geese are honestly pretty terrifying, so.
en.wikipedia.org

Geese are honestly pretty terrifying, so.

11. The Hot Dogs (Frankfort High School, Frankfort, Indiana)

Really wishing they had gone with the Wieners.
hotdogsathletics.com

Really wishing they had gone with the Wieners.

12. The Imps (Cary High School, Cary, North Carolina)

It's a no from me.
wakecountyathletics.com

It's a no from me.

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13. The Kewpies (David Henry Hickman High School, Columbia, Missouri)

My high school mascot was the Hickman Kewpie and there's not a photo of it online that isn't nightmarishly hilarious

Flickr: akiko_87

^ This guy wrote horror films like You're Next and The Guest. I WONDER WHERE HE GETS HIS INSPIRATION. No one really knows where this mascot came from, but one legend says that a school secretary put a Kewpie doll on the basketball court before tipoff and both teams managed to play the whole game without knocking it over. Hickman won, so they kept the doll as a good luck charm. What this legend probably leaves out is that it was a cursed doll and the secretary was a witch.

14. The Kilties (Mt. Pleasant High School, Providence, Rhode Island)

Did it just get hot in here?
providenceschools.org

Did it just get hot in here?

15. The Mighty Bunnies (Benson High School, Omaha, Nebraska)

This is probably supposed to be menacing, but it's JUST SO CUTE.
mascotdb.com

This is probably supposed to be menacing, but it's JUST SO CUTE.

16. The Millionaires (Williamsport Area High School, Williamsport, Pennsylvania)

This super-humble mascot dates to the late 1800s, when Williamsport had more millionaires per capita than any other city thanks to its successful lumber industry. It also refers to a historical section of the city called "Millionaires' Row."
wasd.org

This super-humble mascot dates to the late 1800s, when Williamsport had more millionaires per capita than any other city thanks to its successful lumber industry. It also refers to a historical section of the city called "Millionaires' Row."

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17. The Nimrods (Watersmeet Township School, Watersmeet, Michigan)

Back in the day, calling someone a "nimrod" wouldn't get you punched in the face; it was a nickname given to a "king hunter" — a person with the ability to track large prey and slay it singlehandedly.
nfhs.org

Back in the day, calling someone a "nimrod" wouldn't get you punched in the face; it was a nickname given to a "king hunter" — a person with the ability to track large prey and slay it singlehandedly.

18. The Obezags (Key School, Annapolis, Maryland)

This is literally just "gazebo" spelled backwards...named after a structure on the school's campus. Mmkay.
Facebook: keyschool

This is literally just "gazebo" spelled backwards...named after a structure on the school's campus. Mmkay.

19. The Orphans (Centralia High School, Centralia, Illinois)

Apparently, in the 1940s, a Chicago sportswriter noted that the boys' basketball team looked so shabby in their tattered uniforms that they looked like orphans. Oh, and don't worry, the girls' teams are called the "Annies."
classmates.com

Apparently, in the 1940s, a Chicago sportswriter noted that the boys' basketball team looked so shabby in their tattered uniforms that they looked like orphans. Oh, and don't worry, the girls' teams are called the "Annies."

20. The Pretzels (New Berlin High School, New Berlin, Illinois)

I have SO much pretzel pride, tbh.
pretzelpride.com

I have SO much pretzel pride, tbh.

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21. The Purple Pounders (Chattanooga Central High School, Harrison, Tennessee)

I don't even know where to begin. 🍆
mascotdb.com

I don't even know where to begin. 🍆

22. The Spudders (Ridgefield High School, Ridgefield, Washington)

Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Ridgefield was a hotbed for potatoes and prunes in the early 1900s, and the town decided on the former for its school mascot. Better than the Prunes, I guess?
pinterest.com

Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Ridgefield was a hotbed for potatoes and prunes in the early 1900s, and the town decided on the former for its school mascot. Better than the Prunes, I guess?

23. The Winged Beavers (Avon Old Farms School, Avon, Connecticut)

Sure.

24. The Wooden Shoes (Teutopolis High School, Teutopolis, Illinois)

What is happening in Illinois? This one dates to 1932, when the basketball coach chose to honor a local shoemaker and Teutopolis's German* heritage.*The Dutch made wooden shoes, so maybe they just confused that for Deutsch (German)? 🤔
scorestream.com

What is happening in Illinois? This one dates to 1932, when the basketball coach chose to honor a local shoemaker and Teutopolis's German* heritage.

*The Dutch made wooden shoes, so maybe they just confused that for Deutsch (German)? 🤔

25. The Zizzers (West Plains High School, West Plains, Missouri)

According to the school's website, a "zizzer" is an "expert in any activity." Whatever you say.
wpr7.schoolwires.net

According to the school's website, a "zizzer" is an "expert in any activity." Whatever you say.