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    11 Things That Will Definitely Happen When Donald Trump Is President

    According to Donald Trump, probably.

    1. President Trump would return outsourced jobs to the U.S. through the power of smart negotiation.

    2. He'd also get to the bottom of Obama's birth certificate mystery once and for all.

    3. Millions of Americans would be inspired to "Trump their look".

    4. He'd sort out the Middle East with his stellar negotiation skills.

    5. And also immigration.

    6. The border with Mexico would be completely impenetrable, thanks to President Trump's excellent construction skills.

    7. We'd never need to vaccinate anyone ever again.

    8. Gun violence would end once and for all thanks to a bold new policy.

    9. Global warming would be uncovered as a lie invented by greedy polar bears.

    10. Poverty would end.

    11. And America, as Trump promised in his campaign, would finally be great again.