Quiz

BuzzFeed Staff, UK 

Are you more of a Lamentation, a No-merit, or a Fight-The-Good-Fight-Of-Faith?

What Would Your Puritan Name Be?

Congratulations, you've won the obscure Puritan name lottery! Take your cool new Biblical reference name out on the town to celebrate!

Job-rakt-out-of-the-asshes Patchett

Yay! You got the Puritan name equivalent of ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯.

What-God-will Pilcher

Don't lament your new name; it might sound like a downer but if you were a seventeenth century Puritan it would be just about the coolest name you could have.

Lamentation Wykes

Don't sweat the fact that your name is "Humiliation" – with that as your name, you can never be embarrassed by anything ever again. (The real-life Humiliation Hynde lived in the 1620s, and he had two sons, both of whom he called Humiliation Hynde as well, so he clearly loved the name.)

Humiliation Hynde

There's no messing about with you: you hate evil and you want the world to know it. (Hate-evill Nutter was a real person who lived in New England around the 1640s, by the way.)

Hate-evill Nutter

You're a fighter by very long Puritan name, and a fighter by nature. You keep doing you, Fight-the-good-fight-of-faith!

Fight-the-good-fight-of-faith Champney

Your Puritan name might seem a bit harsh, but think of it as motivation. With a name like No-merit, you'll be driven to overachieve all your life to make up for it – all while staying humble.

No-merit Bentham

You Puritan name is perfect for your life. You come with a ready-made excuse. "Hey, you pushed in front of me in the queue!" "Ooops, my bad. Sorry-for-sin!"

Sorry-for-sin Chapman

Congratulations! You got the same name as Nicholas If-Jesus-Christ-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebon, son of Praise-God Barebon and brother to Fear-God and Jesus-Christ-Came-Into-The-World-To-Save. Nobody has ever had a more Puritan name.

If-Jesus-Christ-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned

Source: <a href="http://archive.org/stream/curiositiesofpur00bardrich#page/176/mode/2up" target="_blank">Curiosities of Puritan Nomenclature</a>, Charles W. Bardsley, 1880

Sorry, this content is no longer supported.

What Would Your Puritan Name Be?

Share This Article

BuzzFeed Daily