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How Good Is Your Pub Etiquette?

Are you one of those people?

Posted on
  1. Tick every one of these that you've done.

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    Left the pub before buying a round.
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    Let someone buy two rounds before buying one yourself.
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    Waited outside “to finish your cigarette” to avoid buying the first round.
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    Pretended you’d already bought a round when you hadn’t.
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    Tried to pour your own pint.
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    Brought your own booze into a pub so you can afford to keep drinking.
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    Ordered before someone despite knowing they got to the bar first.
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    Told the bar staff you got to the bar first when actually you didn’t.
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    Pushed past someone to get to the bar.
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    Not noticed the bar staff trying to take your order because you’re too busy chatting with friends.
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    Not noticed the bar staff trying to take your order because you’re too busy on your phone.
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    Added an extra drink to your order right at the end.
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    Added several extra drinks to your order right at the end.
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    Added extra drinks to your order more than once in the same round.
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    Added extra drinks to your order despite having already paid.
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    Stood at the bar for about half an hour adding more and more drinks to your order until you’ve basically bought a drink for everybody in the pub except the person who was behind you in the queue.
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    Shouted your order to a friend at the front of the queue even though they’d clearly finished ordering already.
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    Insisted on tasting every beer on offer before buying.
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    Lectured the barman on how to pour a pint.
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    Paid on card when there's a massive queue behind you.
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    Loudly complained about “the price of a pint these days” at the bar.
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    Loudly complained about the decor.
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    Loudly complained about the bar staff.
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    Loudly complained about the other customers.
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    Pleaded to be allowed juss ooooooneee moooooreeee driiiinnkkk at closing time.
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    Declared your love to the person behind the bar.
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    Hogged the pool table.
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    Hogged the quiz machine.
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    Hogged the jukebox.
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    Spilled a friend’s drink.
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    Spilled a stranger’s drink.
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    Spilled a stranger’s drink and not offered to buy them a replacement.
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    Spilled a stranger’s drink deliberately and pretended it was an accident.
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    Told someone a chair wasn’t free when it really was.
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    Kept a table you hadn’t reserved despite not knowing when your friends would show up.
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    Sat on your own at a big table despite knowing nobody else was joining you.
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    Lied about whether other people were joining you when somebody else asked if they could sit at your table.
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    Left a single coat on a chair to reserve a table while going to chat with people outside for half an hour.
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    Got stroppy when you came back in and someone had sat down there.
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    Taken all the chairs from a table, leaving people awkwardly standing around a chairless table.
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    Left your drink on someone else’s table without asking.
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    Sat down at someone else’s table without asking.
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    Invited all your friends to sit down at someone else’s table without asking.
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    Sat down at an empty table despite the fact that there was a coat on one of the chairs, clearly reserving it.
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    Asked for the TV to be turned off while people are watching football because you want to have conversation with your mates.
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    Physically turned the TV off yourself.
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    Asked for the TV to be turned on so you can watch the football despite the fact that loads of people are having a conversation.
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    Physically turned the TV on yourself.
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    Thrown up in the toilets.
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    Thrown up in the bar.
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    Thrown up on the bar.
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    Thrown up on the bar staff.
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    Thrown up somewhere in the pub and not told anybody.
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    Thrown up somewhere in the pub and tried to blame someone else.
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    “Borrowed” someone’s newspaper.
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    “Borrowed” someone’s cigarettes.
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    “Borrowed” someone’s pint.
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    “Borrowed” someone’s wallet.
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    Had a really loud laugh.
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    Loudly discussed your sex life.
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    Loudly discussed somebody else’s sex life.
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    Loudly discussed your bowel movements.
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    Loudly discussed someone else’s bowel movements.
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    Just been really loud basically.
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    Started a football chant in a pub when there wasn’t football on.
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    Tried to start some “banter” with a stranger.
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    Tried to start some “banter” with several strangers.
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    Almost started a fight.
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    Actually started a fight.
 
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