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    Posted on Jan 17, 2017

    35 Ways Of Describing Brexit, Ranked By How Much They Sound Like Sex Things

    Because sometimes Brexit things sound like sex things. (H/T to Jon Worth's Euroblog.)

    by ,

    35. "Unlawful Brexit"

    The Guardian / Via theguardian.com

    Of all the ways Brexit has been described, this is the least like a sex thing. Under no circumstances should this sound like a sex thing.

    34. "Train-Crash Brexit"

    Financial Times / Via ft.com

    This is not how sex things should be described.

    33. "Disorderly Crash Landing Brexit"

    The Guardian / Via theguardian.com

    This is also not how sex things should be described. However, it is at least kinda relatable, from a sex thing perspective.

    32. "Short, Sharp Brexit"

    Politico / Via politico.eu

    Ow.

    31. "Grey Brexit"

    Politico / Via politico.eu

    Not an especially sex Brexit, except for the fact that old people totally do sex things. Your parents are probably doing sex things right now.

    30. "Transitional Brexit"

    The Independent / Via independent.co.uk

    Sometimes you are in a relationship and you do sex things, but then you stop being in a relationship, and yet continue to do sex things.

    29. "Red, White And Blue Brexit"

    BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

    Maybe you do sex things underneath a union jack, because you have become overwhelmed by both patriotism and horniness?

    28. "Hokey Cokey Brexit"

    The Express / Via express.co.uk

    Definite sex thing. But a weird sex thing.

    27. "Dog's Brexit"

    The Scotsman / Via scotsman.com

    Bad sex thing.

    26. "Schrödinger’s Brexit"

    The Economist / Via economist.com

    When you can't tell if the sex thing is inside the box or not.

    25. "Brexit In Name Only"

    Euro Pacific Capital / Via europac.com

    Your first teenage sex thing, when you didn't actually really do the sex thing, but told your friends you did.

    24. "Half-In, Half-Out Brexit"

    New Statesman / Via newstatesman.com

    Another classic teenage sex thing.

    23. "Smart Brexit"

    European Leadership Network / Via europeanleadershipnetwork.org

    When your sex thing is safe.

    22. "Stupid Brexit"

    Huffington Post / Via huffingtonpost.co.uk

    When it isn't.

    21. "Chaotic Brexit"

    The Guardian / Via theguardian.com

    I think we have all been in this sex thing scenario.

    20. "Bespoke Brexit"

    ITV News / Via itv.com

    This is a sex thing when you've been together for a few years.

    19. "Cliff Edge Brexit"

    The Guardian / Via theguardian.com

    Sex things should not happen on cliff edges, however there are undoubtedly such thrill seekers out there. Maybe a sex thing with that guy from Poldark, looking handsome and troubled on a cliff edge.

    18. "Soft Brexit"

    The Guardian / Via theguardian.com

    A sex thing, but maybe not a very satisfying sex thing.

    17. "Clean Brexit"

    Wall Street Journal / Via wsj.com

    Where you take a shower both before and after doing the sex thing.

    16. "Goldilocks Brexit"

    Business Insider / Via uk.businessinsider.com

    Who's been sleeping in MY bed? You have.

    And you did a sex thing.

    15. "Open Brexit"

    The Times / Via thetimes.co.uk

    When you do sex things with loads of people, and that's cool, because you talked about it beforehand.

    14. "Long Brexit"

    Financial Times / Via ft.com

    Overrated sex thing.

    13. "Slow Brexit"

    New Statesman / Via newstatesman.com

    Underrated sex thing.

    12. "Smooth Brexit"

    The Guardian / Via theguardian.com

    The sort of sex thing a man who self-identifies as a "lothario" would say, when boasting to another man about how all the ladies love his sex moves.

    11. "Fast And Smooth Brexit"

    City AM / Via cityam.com

    Oh yeah, oh we're getting into the good stuff now. The good sex things.

    10. "Dirty Brexit"

    Politico / Via politico.eu

    😏

    9. "Have Cake And Eat It Brexit"

    BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

    When your sex thing includes cake.

    8. "Deeply Regrettable Brexit"

    Novinite / Via novinite.com

    Perhaps the most relatable sex thing of all.

    7. "Messy Brexit"

    Reuters / Via uk.reuters.com

    That sex thing where you've done the sex thing and the sex thing made you feel really good, but then you get a slow, dawning moment of clarity about the fact that it was kind of weird and gross.

    6. "Rough Brexit"

    BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

    Everybody likes a bit of a rough sex thing now and then. Just don't forget consent! (i.e., a second referendum and/or parliamentary vote on the final deal.)

    5. "Hard Brexit"

    Al Jazeera / Via aljazeera.com

    The kind of Brexit you see in porn.

    4. "Reckless Hard Brexit"

    Labour List / Via labourlist.org

    More of a Brontë kind of sex thing, wild and untamed on the moors and possibly deeply regrettable but also dirty and rough.

    3. "Hard AND Soft Brexit"

    The Guardian / Via theguardian.com

    Variety is the spice of life!

    2. "Brexit That Could Threaten Western Political Civilisation"

    Reuters / Via uk.reuters.com

    Yes. This is the kind of sex thing we all aspire to.

    1. "Brexit Without Tears, Norway-Style"

    Bloomberg / Via bloomberg.com

    This is the best way to lose your virginity. Shoutout to Lars.

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