So, you've decide to watch the debate tonight? You're going to need something to get you through it. You need...
Drink a very small sip every time:
Drink a large sip every time:
Drink two sips every time:
Switch up your drink on these key words:
Down your drink at any mention of:
Drink as much as you want any time Trump makes this face…
...or Clinton makes this face…
...or Chris Wallace makes this face.
If Donald Trump doesn’t actually show up for the debate:
If Hillary Clinton doesn’t actually show up for the debate:
If the candidates actually take a drug test like Donald Trump wanted:
Go and get a glass of water urgently if you think you hear any of the following:
Suddenly and painfully sober up any time:
Tom Phillips is the UK editorial director for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
Contact Tom Phillips at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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