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17 Things I Learned At The Norman Conquest

We came. We saw. We made this tapestry. Conquering England, you guys.

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8. When a Horse Goes Down, It's Total Chaos

I saw this happen a couple times, and it was completely insane every time. In general, I still think you have to choose horse over no-horse, but it's a lot closer than you'd think.

9. A lot of people got hit in the head with swords.

There weren't a ton of helmets around, so sword-to-the-head was probably the #1 cause of death, followed by trampled-by-horse and died-of-mysterious-illness-on-the-way-to-the-battle.

11. You can do a lot of damage with just a stick.

Don't overthink it. Everyone wanted a sword or some awkward chain-swingy thing, but this guy was just clocking fools left and right with a tree branch. It totally worked.

17. He's still dead, though.

Right after Harold III pulled the arrow out, some guy straight up trampled him to death. It was grisly, but by then we'd been pillaging for two months straight and it was probably time to wrap things up. Good hustle, everybody!

(With apologies to the Bayeux Tapestry.)