1. “Snobs” has a whole different meaning to you.
Most people think of posh toffs or Hyacinth “Bouquet”; you think of this club.
2. You remember how disgusting its floors were.
And still are, apparently. You can see why shoegazing stopped being a thing.
4. “Flapper” doesn’t bring to mind a 1920s dancer, either.
Instead, it reminds you of some amazing nights out where at least one of your friends ended up in a canal.
5. If you’re a guy, you probably asked your Erdington barber for an Ian Brown haircut.
7. And you got your second-hand Levi 501s and retro threads from the old Folio 50 shop in Digbeth.
Don’t look for it; like everything it’s not there anymore.
8. While Brum indie girls got their plaid shirts and DMs from the Oasis Market.
But never from the Blur Market. #IndieJokes
9. You like to boast about Birmingham’s proud indie heritage.
Like the fact that R.E.M. played their first UK gig above a strip club in Digbeth. No wonder they lost their religion.
10. And, on a more solemn note, that Joy Division played their final gig at Birmingham University.
We’ll never forget.
11. You saw indie legends like The Smiths and New Order at The Tower in Edgbaston.
The Tower Ballroom might not look like much, but it hosted gigs by some real indie heavyweights. The Happy Mondays played there as well.
12. You still refer to the pub by Aston University as “The Pot.”
Gosta Green is a crap name; to you it will always be The Pot of Beer.
13. And you remember this place as the Barrel Organ
Think Cheers, with a lot more goths and indie kids
14. Despite Birmingham’s distinctive lack of coastline, you regularly drank at a pub called The Ship Ashore.
Why was it mounted on stilts? No one knows.
15. You have fond memories of Ol’ Blue Eyes
(And you don’t mind spelling mystakes)
17. Tuesdays was all about The Click Club at Burberries.
Yes, there really was a time when you could go and see a Pixies gig on Broad Street, honestly.
18. And Sundays revolved around The COD Club at Piranhas.
It’s where The Stone Roses played their first Brum gig, and if that isn’t exciting enough, it was also right next door to where classic darts-themed quiz show Bullseye was recorded. Smashing.
19. You probably remember when The Happy Mondays played Digbeth’s Irish Centre.
Bez can’t remember it, though.
20. You were confused by the disproportionate number of bands from Stourbridge* on the Brum indie scene.
*Yes, we know that Stourbridge is in the Black Country, which is completely separate to Birmingham. This cannot be stressed enough. Don’t sue us.
22. The cool bands all played at the Aston Villa Leisure Centre.
Which really annoyed Birmingham City fans. Even the Bluetones wouldn’t play at St Andrew’s.
23. Your indie records were released on indie record labels and you bought them from indie record shops.
You took your independence seriously.
24. You listened to John Peel on Radio 1 as if your life depended on it.
Although Robin Valk’s gig guide on BRMB was of more practical use.
27. Plus you could see Oasis at The Jug of Ale.
But can we all please agree that Pulp are better than either of them?
28. You remember the exact day that Britpop finally died.
Just zigazig the fuck off.
29. But you know that the Brum indie scene will never die.
See you in Snobs later, yeah?