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EXCLUSIVE: Greg Hunt Outbids Rival Polluters At Own Pollution Auction

Environment Minister awards himself $350 million of taxpayers’ money “not to unleash pollution on an apocalyptic scale"

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EXCLUSIVE: Greg Hunt Outbids Rival Polluters At Own Pollution Auction

Environment Minister Greg Hunt has been awarded the first contract to reduce emissions under his own discredited Direct Action scheme.In an unexpected twist, Hunt awarded himself the $350 million of taxpayers’ money on offer “not to unleash pollution on an apocalyptic scale.”“Over the next few months I had planned some truly catastrophic decisions.“This money means I will now postpone those plans until next year.”Upon hearing the result, unsuccessful bidders declared they would be forced to go ahead with pollution threats they had never intended to carry out in the first place.“We were demanding $500 million not to dump 50 million tonnes of hypothetical toxic pollution into the atmosphere,” confided one polluter who wished to remain anonymous.“Now we’ll actually have to do it.”

Environment Minister Greg Hunt has been awarded the first contract to reduce emissions under his own discredited Direct Action scheme.



In an unexpected twist, Hunt awarded himself the $350 million of taxpayers’ money on offer “not to unleash pollution on an apocalyptic scale.”


“Over the next few months I had planned some truly catastrophic decisions.


“This money means I will now postpone those plans until next year.”


Upon hearing the result, unsuccessful bidders declared they would be forced to go ahead with pollution threats they had never intended to carry out in the first place.


“We were demanding $500 million not to dump 50 million tonnes of hypothetical toxic pollution into the atmosphere,” confided one polluter who wished to remain anonymous.


“Now we’ll actually have to do it.”

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