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21 Ridiculous Ways People Have Actually Injured Themselves

We asked you for your weirdest and most gruesome injuries, and you told us. Warning: OBVIOUSLY this contains graphic images. OBVIOUSLY.

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1. This person ate a turtle.

Daniela Aravena / Facebook / Via facebook.com

"My brother swallowed a bell metal turtle while my parents were on a trip. That was 10 years ago. Best vacations ever."

Submitted by Daniela Aravena, Facebook

2. This person got the Eiffel Tower stuck in her foot.

jenniferl / Via buzzfeed.com

"Collecting keychains from all the countries I’ve visited was a great idea until I stepped on my backpack and had to go to the ER. I guess I’ll always have Paris."

Submitted by jenniferl

3. This woman got headbutted by a dog.

April Gutierrez / Facebook / Via facebook.com

"My fun one this past summer. At school BBQ fundraiser weekend, some kids dropped a popcorn machine behind me and my dog. He jumped up startled and his head jammed my finger.

"Had to have surgery to correct totally torn-apart tendons, broken bones, and dislocation. Finger still messed up, will never make a fist again."


Submitted by April Gutierrez, Facebook

5. This guy's ankle isn't supposed to bend like that.

April Gutierrez / Facebook / Via facebook.com

"My friend's son jumped to spike a volleyball and landed wrong. Dislocated his entire foot."

Submitted by April Gutierrez, Facebook

6. This woman hurt herself watching Netflix.

"I had a Netflix-related injury. My foot fell asleep from sitting watching hours of Pretty Little Liars and when I got up to go to the fridge for snacks, I sprained my ankle."

Submitted by Julie Ruemenapp, Facebook

7. This woman got beaten up by a cockroach.

"I was trying to kill a cockroach by squishing it on my carpet with a paper towel but it would not die. So I picked it up with the paper towel but for some reason I didn't crush it and it started to get on my hand, so I started sprinting to throw it in the toilet. I slipped and fell on one of those big candles with three wicks in a glass jar.

"Lots of blood and 10 stitches later, there is now a 2.5-inch scar on my leg and I didn't even kill the roach. I got my ass beat by a cockroach."

Submitted by Anne Harbaugh, Facebook

8. This woman's fingers are an extraordinary colour.

reih2 / Via buzzfeed.com

"I got my fingers smashed when a heavy bar fell on them, the shock sent me into an asthma attack and an ambulance ride to the hospital and two broken fingers."

Submitted by reih2

9. This person burned themselves on a curry. And the curry wasn't even that great.

"I was heating up a curry in the microwave, which was very safely placed on top of an extremely high fridge. Being very small and not being able to locate my special step, I try to reach up and remove the curry. Lo and behold, half of the curry spills down me, completely coating my arm.

"It burnt me so severely that it damaged the nerves so I didn't have anyyyyy idea how serious it was. I was so busy eating the rest of the curry and mourning the lost half, it wasn't until I realised my whole arm was one big blister that I finally went to hospital. Took months to heal and the curry was only average."

Submitted by ilovealanthecat

10. This woman burned herself with the batteries of her dildo.

"I once drunkenly fell asleep with a 'personal toy'. It overheated, and the batteries leaked acid. When I rolled over in my sleep, the skin was torn off the inside of my thighs. When I stopped screaming, I took a look. It was pretty gruesome-looking.

"Too embarrassed to go to the ER, I called a PA friend of mine, and he helped me as best he could. I couldn't walk right for months. It took forever to heal. Not only that, I ended up with a scar on the inside of my thigh in the perfect shape of a penis."

Submitted by kellyb

11. This girl has basically been broken in two and stitched back together again.

thecuregirl12 / Via buzzfeed.com

"I went through a window when I was house-sitting for a friend. And 20 stitches inside and out later I was a new girl!"

Submitted by thecuregirl

14. This woman just used the phrase "extreme wedgie".

"I broke my vagina in a cliff-diving accident. I jumped from 50+ feet and started to feel a sort of stinging pain. Coincidentally, my fiancee was also injured. Got him to the hospital and when I peed I noticed blood. Got it checked out and I had an inch-long laceration from hole to hole.

"I guess when I jumped my bikini bunched up and I got an extreme wedgie. They wanted to stitch it but I wouldn't let them. It never really healed properly, and three years later I had a C-section with my son instead of a natural delivery, just in case."

Submitted by Andriad

15. Sucks to be this woman.

Whitney Merrills / Via buzzfeed.com

"I was vacuuming, and thought the vacuum might not be working well. So I put my hand up to feel if the suction was weak. I forgot about the beater bar and it pulled my middle finger into the vacuum.

"The beater bar was going fast enough that it took off all the skin on my finger down to the tendon. It actually bled very little, and hurt much less than what one would expect, because both the blood vessels and nerves were torn off.

"I was also incredibly lucky because I should have needed a skin graft, but my finger managed to heal on its own. The scar tissue was painful to deal with and it took a long time to regain full flexibility and use of my finger. (The picture is from a week after I injured it.)"

Submitted by Whitney Merrills

16. This woman is presumably never showering again.

"When on holiday I stepped one foot out of the shower and slipped on the wet tile. My other foot, still in the shower cubicle, slipped backwards, and I did the splits, landing on my vagina on the metal glass slider. My wound bled for over an hour, but I didn't want to go to hospital when on holiday."

Submitted by skipsonrecord

18. This woman is traumatised by toilets.

"I dislocated my knee by standing up from the toilet. I then popped it back in myself, because I didn't fancy a trip to a Spanish hospital on holiday! It happened again about three years later. I am now very wary of standing up after using the loo!"

Submitted by Jessica Hallett, Facebook

19. This guy crushed his balls on his bike.

"I fell so hard on my BMX that my right testicle ascended into my lower abdomen. I had to go for a very painful operation and couldn't walk for almost a day."

Submitted by coendeb

21. This guy chipped his front tooth while masturbating in the shower.

"I chipped my front tooth while masturbating in the shower."

Submitted by BeatemMellark

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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