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19 Things Only Science-Geek Parents Will Understand

"Who's my cheeky little monkey? Who? Not you, son. You are an ape. Get it right."

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1. You can't watch films with them without pointing out the OBVIOUS SCIENTIFIC ERRORS.

YouTube / Comedy Central / Via

"The machines couldn't run the Matrix like that. They'd expend much more energy feeding the humans than they'd get out of them as batteries. It's the second law of thermodynamics for God's sake."

2. Not to mention their damn children's books.

By user:Stilfehler (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons / Via

"Yes, I know it says Mr Sploshy is a fish, but actually he's a squid. A mollusc."


4. And you know how to do seriously cool things with cornflour and water.

FuckYeahPhysica / Tumblr / Via

I can make you walk on water, kids. If you have enough cornflour. You'll need quite a lot of cornflour.


10. You don't mind them dyeing their hair or getting tattoos, but if they start banging on about how the theory of evolution is "only a theory", they're grounded on the spot.

13. You know you're programmed to love them by hundreds of millions of years of evolution.


Apart from me. My kids are actually the best. But the rest of you, totally programmed.


14. You like telling them that their great-great-250,000-or-so-great grandmother was an ape.

Paranthropus boisei, an early human ancestor. Art by Cicero Moraes and 3D scanning of the skull by Dr. Moacir Elias Santos. - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0 / Via

"And your 250,000th-or-so cousin is a chimp, as well."

15. You embarrass them when you talk about how unlikely it is that THAT SPERM met THAT EGG and made THEM.


Every time you try to explain the colossal coincidence of their birth, they say "EEEWW DAD STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR SPERM".

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