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17 Really Good Pieces Of Advice For First-Time Mums From Other Parents

Every baby is different.

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We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what advice they had for first-time mums. Here are some of their responses.

1. You can't predict your labour.

Make your birth plan as detailed as you can. What music you may want, who your birth partner is, what pain relief you want to take, how you would like to be monitored, do you want to be active during labour even if you want a foot massage.

Write absolutely everything you want to happen down, then tear it up into a million pieces and let that sucker fly away into the wind because the only person who has any say in how labour and birth are happening is your baby.

So listen to your body and what it is telling you and if something doesn’t feel right voice it very loudly until you are checked. There has never been in the history of womankind a “textbook” labour and birth.


2. All that matters is the baby is being fed.

If you plan on breastfeeding, do not let yourself feel like a horrible mother because the baby doesn't latch on right away. And be prepared for swollen milk ducts. If you plan on bottle feeding, do not let yourself feel like you're a horrible mother because you decided to go that route. Regardless of which you choose, all that matters is the baby is being fed. End of story.

– Duchess Natasha, Facebook

3. Be prepared to do a load of baby laundry every day.

You'll get through more daily changes of baby clothes than you could imagine in the early days. So double the amount of baby grows you think you'll need and be prepared to do a load of baby laundry every day to keep on top of it.

– Belinda Dervish, Facebook

4. Sleep or rest when the baby sleeps.

Forget about cleaning when the baby is napping. Take that time for yourself. Sleep or rest when the baby sleeps. As long as your home is not unsanitary, you're good. It doesn't matter if baby (or your) clothes are all over the house or if dishes are everywhere. You can wear your baby while doing chores while he/she is awake. Self care is SO important.

– Nikki Guzman, Facebook

5. Check your baby's temperature.

Here's a specific one: If your baby won't stop crying and you can't figure out what's wrong, see if they may be too hot or too cold. It might not be obvious from touching them. When my daughter was very small I called my mum as she would not stop crying. It was summer and Mum said to me, "What's the baby wearing?" I told her just a normal sleepsuit and then she asked me what I was wearing. I was in tiny shorts and a vest top. I stripped baby down to her nappy and crying subsided.

I asked my mum how she knew and she said she'd called her father with the exact same situation when I was a baby.

– Faye Falulla Dunlea, Facebook

6. Trust your instincts.

Trust your instincts. I didn't read any books, or go to any classes but somehow I knew what my baby needed. Relax! Your world has changed and give yourself time to adjust – do not expect to be perfect immediately. Seriously, chill.

Ignore all horror stories of other mothers and all boasting stories of other mothers. Congratulations! Welcome to a world where you no longer put yourself first – every decision you will now make you will automatically think of how it will effect your little person first, not you. And it is OK.

– Oilibhia Muirchú, Facebook

7. Take pictures.

Take all the pictures! As the years go by, you'll be happy you took all of those sleeping baby pics.

– Bonnie Walcher, Facebook

8. You're going to have some bad days, and it's OK!

Don't try to be a superhuman mum. There's going to be days when your house looks like a tornado's torn through it because you're too exhausted to handle it. There's going to be times when the baby's crying and no matter what you do, they still cry and you can't work out why. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong – sometimes it's just the way it is.

– Beth Doswell, Facebook

9. Not every person gets that rush of love when they give birth.

Woman / Via

If you don't feel bonded to your baby, don't worry. My son is almost 12 months old and I'm only now feeling a really strong bond between us. It can take even longer than that. You're still getting to know this little human, and not every person gets that rush of love when they give birth.

– Eve Acton, Facebook

10. Don't do the "who is more tired" game with your partner.

The Late Show With Stephen Colber / Via CBS

You will hate your partner. You will look at them sleeping peacefully whilst you pace back and forth trying to get baby to settle and want to stab them in the face. I am talking proper seething hatred. This is the lack of sleep talking – try to keep it in perspective and not dropkick them when they come in from work moaning about how tired they are. Do not do the "who is more tired" game, no one wins.


11. Take care of yourself first.

Story of This Anderson Life / Via

Adopt airplane safety rule: Put your oxygen mask on before you help others. Your main job as a parent is to make sure your baby is safe. Your baby is not safe while in care of an exhausted, starved, and depressed person, so TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST. Make sure you eat, not only feed, that you take shower, not only give baths. And that you sleep, not just rock to sleep. Then you'll be fine, all of you.

– Agnieszka Gocalińska, Facebook

12. Be careful when changing baby boys.

Simpsons / Via Fox

If it’s a boy, be sure to point the little willy down when changing him. Otherwise everything will be covered in pee. His clothes, your clothes, his bed, crib, bassinet, bouncer, your hair and even face. That first week was rough.

Erin Tennyson

13. It doesn’t last forever.

BBC First Australia / Via

Everything is temporary. People tell you how quickly time goes when they’re babies and that you’ll miss the baby stage – that’s true. This also goes for when you’re struggling with colic, teething, sleepless nights etc. It doesn’t last forever, so deal the best way you can in that moment and remember, it’s temporary.


14. Every baby is different.

Once Upon a Time / Via

Remember that every baby is different. Just because something worked for one mum and her baby doesn’t mean it’ll work for you and yours. Everything is trial and error, so if you have to try different things before something works for your baby, that is OK.


15. Other parents lie.

KaiLand / Via Babykailand

All the other parents are lying about how well their babies are sleeping.


16. Don't be ashamed of your body.

Don’t feel ashamed of your changed body. Ignore celebrity postnatal photos. Remember, all new mums have a very altered body.


17. You're doing just great.

Familia Santos Iwama / Via

From a dad after watching my amazing wife with our two wonderful boys: You're doing just great. You just brought a child into this world and that makes you amazing, no less than a superhero! No one gets it perfect but you're doing brilliant – that's why the baby smiles when they see Mummy. Just one more time, YOU ARE AMAZING!

For the dads, she's going to be tired, maybe a little cranky, but that's OK because she's amazing (yes, there's a theme here). Give her some time off, do the changes, the nap times, the feeding at least once in a while and let Mummy have some peace. Maybe enough time to catch up on some sleep, because god knows she probably needs it.

Hey mums, you're the best. Keep on being awesome.

– John Powell, Facebook

Some responses have been edited for clarity.

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