5 Mind-boggling Infomercial Items

We all know infomercials sell stupid stuff. Snuggies and Slankets own this! However, I have to give the inventors credit. There's a sucker born every minute, and the suckers are definitely buying it! However, that doesn't change the fact that this junk is STUPID. In no particular order:

• HD Sunglasses

  

  How can you get more HD than real life? I must admit - curiosity got the better of me. I was in the drugstore and I swear, they were calling my name. Could not resist opening the box, and... I found myself looking at the world through piss colored glasses. I can't say they didn't work. Maybe piss yellow IS enhanced color.

• Pajama Jeans

  

  "They look like jeans! They're stylish! Sexy! They're so comfortable, you'll want to sleep in them!" ....What do they mean you'll WANT to sleep in them? Aren't you supposed to? They're PAJAMAS! Does the word "jeans" cancel out "pajamas"? OMG. MY BRAIN! MY BLOOD PRESSURE! They're 40 bucks. Why not but a $10 to $20 pair of leggings or jeggings? True, jeggings are in minute 17 of their 15 Minutes of Trend, but they're out there.

• Bed Effects

  

  "Your bed will appear to be floating on a wave of light, while illuminating the lower walls with your choice of color. Your kids will no longer be afraid of monsters!" I'm so torn here. The lame in me thinks it's kind of cool...but could you imagine being a child waking up from a nightmare and forgetting about the lights? Eff that, imagine an adult doing the same! More like your bed is floating in Satan's hands with a blazing, bright red portal leading you to the depths of hell.

• Better Marriage Blanket

  

  No more dutch ovens as long as you own this gem! It's reversible! It neutralizes & absorbs odors! It uses the same fabric as the military to protect against chemical weapons. IT JUST MAY SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!!!
  SORRY FOR THE CAPS AND OVERUSED EXCLAMATION MARKS. NOW I KNOW WHY/HOW VINCE SHAMWOW AND BILLY MAYS GOT THEIR ENTHUSIASM!!

• BeDazzler

  

  Ok, so it's been around forever, but it makes it to the list because it's hawked on infomercials. The fact that somewhere out there in 2011, someone is still BeDazzling things kills me a little on the inside. I can only hope it's being put to use on a stone-washed denim jacket and a pair of keds. Maybe even a fanny-pack and a puffy paint t-shirt to complete the ensemble. SEXY,