5 Signs Your Marriage May Be Coming To An End

Ever wondered what the time between marriage and divorce look like?

1. You start to spend more time on your phones

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Seems simple, but our phones are an addictive escape from the uncomfortable feelings of being in a marriage that has run its course. We can pretend we are working, we are researching something or we can flat out be making plans with others, to avoid time spent interacting with our spouse. On trip to a restaurant and you can easily see those couples who are vividly engrossed in each other, compared to those both happily ignoring each other on their phones.

2. Lack of sex

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Some of us have sex even through our divorce proceedings, as we struggle to let go. For most of us though losing sexual interest in your partner is a sure sign that something is a miss. Sex can be used as a weapon, as a way to control, but it usually is used as a way to maintain intimacy with your spouse. So when one or the other spouse starts withholding sex, the chances are your marriage, will eventually unravel. It also can be seen as a passive aggressive way to show your spouse you are unhappy with them on some level. I often tell people if you will not have sex with your spouse, chances are someone else will, so never use sex as a bargaining tool, only as a way to build and maintain your marriage.

3. Inability to make eye contact with your spouse

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Ever been in a situation where your friend, boss, co worker did you wrong, and you can't look them in the eye. This also rings true for spouses, when resentment, or guilt is felt between the two spouses, the last thing you want to do is look them in the eye. Your spouse knows you better than anyone and somehow their eyes, penetrate our souls in a way we find too much to bare. This is especially true if you suspect your spouse of cheating, or feel their treatment of you is anything but stella.

4. Making no effort to spend time together

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At the beginning of our marriages, we may find ourselves spending every available minute with each other. Date nights, beach trips, even simple grocery store visits we do together. As a marriage progresses, especially with the arrival of children, work responsibilities we see a shift in how we spend time. When a marriage is falling apart, we stop making time to be alone with our spouses. It is easy to do under the guise of other responsibilities, but if you are constantly finding ways to fill your time that do not include your spouse, chances are there are other relationship issues you are dealing with. Not making time for your spouse to be alone, is a common theme heard from soon to be divorcees.

5. Seeking out other people to emotionally connect with

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This is a far more extensive topic than just sexual cheating, it encompasses, emotional cheating, and even things as simple as finding yourself confiding in a co worker or friend before discussing something with your spouse. In simple terms, we stop feeling our spouse is our best friend. They become the last person we go to for advice or support, if you or your spouse are cultivating relationships (even non sexual ones) and putting other people first in your life, you are already halfway out of your marriage. When we marry we vow to forsake all others, we promise to put the other person first, and in a healthy relationship, that is what you want to do. When you feel so distant from your spouse that you prefer the company and support of other people, you know your marriage needs help. The good news is there is help, counselors, therapists, and you can do the work to repair your marriage so you do not end up in divorce court.