2. To yourself, again.
3. One more time, just to be sure.
4. To your one trans friend.
5. To your partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband.
6. And your kids, if you've got 'em.
7. To your parents.
8. Depending on how that goes, to your extended family.
9. To your friends.
10. "Friend" is maybe a strong word.
11. To Facebook. And YouTube. And Tumblr.
12. To your doctor, even if you're not going on hormones.
13. To your boss.
14. And your coworkers, over email.
15. Or even worse, in a group meeting.
16. At the DMV.
17. Filling out Social Security forms.
18. Filling out insurance forms.
19. And insurance forms.
20. And IRS forms.
21. At the post office.
22. And Vital Records.
23. To the nice folks at probate court.
24. To people you haven't seen in years.
25. To people who think you're in the "wrong" bathroom.
26. To the drunk person who starts ranting about "real men" or "real women."
27. To gay people who use trans slurs.
28. To people who hit on you.
29. Or anyone you go home with.
30. At airport security.
31. To the customer service rep who misgenders you on the phone.
32. To a new employer who calls your references--who only know you by your birth name.
33. Or to your references, who you call to tell not to call you by your birth name.
34. To your extended family who don't know yet because at this point it's awkward.
Thomas Page McBee is the author of Man Alive: A True Story of Violence, Forgiveness, and Becoming a Man (City Lights). He writes the columns "Self-Made Man" for the Rumpus and "The American Man" for the Pacific Standard, and his work on gender has appeared in the New York Times, The Atlantic, VICE, and BuzzFeed. He lives in New York City, where he works as the Growth Editor at Quartz.
Contact Thomas Page McBee at email@example.com.
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