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The 5 Most Creative ‘Sickies’ To Get Time Off For Euro 2016

With Euro 2016 just around the corner, its just about time to get those absence excuses in order.

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Fear not, we have compiled a list of creative sickness excuses that will get you the time off that you need!

1)"I have accidentally put all of my clothes in the washing machine, unless you want me to come in naked I won't be in today".

Lets face it, you are no Brad Pitt and 'Claire' on reception will not find you sexy. No one wants to see your beer belly or your pigeon chest and you would probably be arrested before you got anywhere near work anyway. This is a sure fire way to get the evening off! Word of warning though, If you do somehow resemble Brad Pitt and your boss is female; This could backfire.

2)"There is a Spider in my car and I am too scared to disturb it".

This is likely to lose you man points and damage your reputation; this is perfectly acceptable if it means that you get to watch the game. If you have time to plan this, you could create a situation the day before to ensure that your colleagues are fully aware of your fear of Spiders. This is unlikely to work if you work in pest control or handle insects regularly for your job.

3)"I have amnesia and can't remember where I work".

Ok, so this does have one slight obvious drawback. By ringing your boss to tell them this, it is kind of obvious that you have made it up. Hopefully though, your boss will be so bamboozled by the craziness of it all that they won't challenge you there and then. After that, all you need to do is switch your phone straight off and enjoy the rest of your night. For added authenticity, return to work the next day as if nothing has happened and deny all knowledge when it is mentioned. With luck, they will believe that the amnesia is so bad that you have even forgotten the phone call. Problem solved.

4)"I have lost my keys and my door has a deadlock, I cant get out"

This is bound to work best if you live in a flat and you are not on ground level. Without your keys, how can you possibly be expected to unlock your door to leave? Just make sure you don't get spotted as you are making your way down to your local to watch the game. This will probably work best if you plan to stay in and watch the match on the TV.

5)"I was still sat on the toilet when I flushed, it has created a suction and I'm trapped".

Firstly, yes this has been known to happen. John Miles snr, from Texas, successfully won a lawsuit against a toilet company after this happened to him in December 2013. I'm not quite sure what the circumference of your bum would need to be for this to happen, but I'm sure your boss won't either. If you use this, just be prepared for endless ribbing from all of your colleagues for the foreseeable future. A worthwhile after effect!

We do not condone pulling a 'sickie' to watch the footie (ahem). But if you intend to use any of these excuses, make sure you refrain from any match related talk the following day.

Thomas Davis.

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