1. Ice Cream Men
How awesome would a reality show detailing the trials and tribulations of being a friendly neighborhood ice cream man be?
You’d get to see how they cope with the hoards of screaming kids, bitchy mothers, cheapskate fathers, and rival ice cream men.
The show would also give new meaning to the “Winter is Coming” phrase of Game of Thrones fame since our valiant ice cream men heroes would have to stockpile their cash and resources for winter, their worst season.
The only people who stand to lose from this are the networks who don’t have an ice-cream man show!
2. Internet Writers
Internet writers help the world go round. And by help the world go round I mean prevent countless murder-suicides by entertaining office workers and making them forget their misery.
But for all the good they do for American society, the country knows little about them.
A show detailing the inner workings of sites like The Huffington Post, Bleacher Report, Cracked,The Onion, or even Buzzfeed would be an incredible one that would show pathetic intern-level writers rise to the ranks of the slightly less pathetic full time writers.
At first it seems strange to suggest that the inner workings of diplomatic relations be broadcast on television for all to see, but what hasn’t Wikileaks already revealed to us?
Hell, a reality show about the U.S. State Department might actually get people interested in geography and in government! And it’s not like the world could hate the United States any more, so why not make a reality show out of our foreign policy?
This show would be so graphic that only networks that allow explicit content like HBO would be able to air it but it would certainly bring something new to television (for once).
5. Air Traffic Controllers
Being an air traffic controller has to be one of the most difficult and stressful jobs in the world. It’s rumored to have the highest suicide rate but official statistics for occupational suicide rates don’t exist.
In such a reality show there’s bound to be tons of tension and drama up in the control tower and down at the airport after a day’s (or night’s) work.
People would watch this and be entertained by it since the people in the show have a shittier job than they, the viewers, do.
Think about this. Barack Obama harnessed the power of social/new media in his 2008 presidential campaign against John McCain. Could you imagine how badly he’d smash Mitt Romney if he decided to use reality television to his advantage?
Now, obviously, a presidential candidate wouldn’t do such a thing but a reality show about local politicians is more feasible and would be equally interesting.
7. Grad Students
Graduate students are the eternal punchline of Academia and of anyone who is gainfully employed.
Their struggles are many, their joys few, and their futures are bleaker than that of the babies on 16 and Pregnant.
There will be drama, academic conferences, hot grad student romance, and lots and lots of Ramen.
8. K-12 Teachers
Remember that awful show Boston Public? You know what would make it slightly less horrible?
If it had real teachers and students in a real school instead of actors on a set.
Now, there are few schools that would allow such a show to be filmed but we can dream.
A reality show centered around teachers would have all the drama of Dawson’s Creek with all the hard-hitting satire of Murphy Brown.
Such a show would also make an amazing contribution to American society. Idiots who want to become teachers would see how terrible the job is and would scuttle off to become bartenders or some other such nonsense, leaving only the motivated to become teachers.
This one sort of goes against the title since most philosophy majors don’t have jobs but we’d get to see the downside of following your dreams and choosing a poor major.
And if there are actually any employed philosophers out there, the world would get to find out what the hell they’ve been doing since they certainly haven’t been philosophizing (the field is so dead that works written over 200 years ago are considered modern).
Michio Kaku, Neil degrasse-Tyson, and the late Carl Sagan, all great communicators of science.
But they are too few in number to make a real difference. Americans still don’t know shit about science and don’t care. They’d rather watch TV, drink, and complain about their jobs and spouses.
A reality show based around astrophysicists or scientists in general could help.
They aren’t all boring individuals with boring jobs. Some of them have stories.
Take Geoff Marcy for example. He was on the verge of quitting science all together but he ended up becoming the “Usain Bolt of Planet Hunters” by discovering dozens of exoplanets (planets outside our solar system).
That’s a dramatic, human, inspiring story that people would tune in to see.
Just target a youngish struggling scientist who works in a field that’s bound to blow up and watch the magic happen.
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