1. When everyone asks you what you’re doing for the big game and you’re all, “Making pancakes, bitch."
2. And then you're like, "Wait a minute. What big game??"
3. When you'd rather blowtorch your nipples off than spend a single minute watching sports...
4. Or clean your toilet...
5. Or do literally anything but watch the game.
6. Choosing your "team" based solely on its uniform colors...
7. And being forced to listen to your coworkers talk about sports every. single. morning.
8. Hating it that your boyfriend’s in a bad mood because his team lost.
9. Hating it that everyone in your town is in a bad mood because its team lost.
10. Hating it that your entire COUNTRY is in a bad mood because its team lost.
11. When you start to worry that your friends and family may have joined some weird sort of cult.
12. (Thankfully, you aren't a part of it.)
13. When you don’t even have the slightest idea of which teams are playing in the Super Bowl.
14. Or the Rose Bowl.
15. Or the Cereal Bowl.
16. When the only famous athletes you can name are the ones who’ve dated celebrities…
17. And you literally go to sporting events just for the booze.
18. Clapping when everyone else is clapping because, hey, everyone else is doing it.
19. Clapping for the wrong team because, hey, everyone else is doing it. (Oops...)
20. OMG you guys, I think we just won a point!!
21. When people ask you what the score is and you're all, "Do I look like I'm paying attention?!"
22. When your favorite part of the game is the halftime show.
23. Also, the snacks.
24. Let’s face it: You don’t mind it so much when they score, either.
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