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1. Set the mood with a homemade PBR-can lamp.
2. Or fill one of your (many) Mason jars with a photograph and preserve it with vegetable oil!
3. Unless you've got something better to stick in your Mason jar.
4. Come to think of it, there's a lot of stuff you can stick in a Mason jar...
5. ZOMG.
6. Next you have to hem and sew your hideous wide-legged jeans into socially acceptable skinnies.
7. Or put bleach into a spray bottle and spray the crap out of your jeans.
8. Or just off the legs completely and add frilly lace!
9. Draw on a pair of white shoes instead of blowing all of the money you made being gainfully unemployed.
10. But "Adventure Time," tho...
11. SHOE-PIDERMAN
12. If all this drawing is making you hungry, use any of your cheap booze to make beer bread.
13. Just make sure not to get any crumbs in your rockin' mustache.
14. FEAR NOT. A recipe for homemade mustache wax is a thing that exists.
15. You're going to need to take a couple of selfies with your homemade Spam-can pinhole camera.
16. You can make a camera out of an egg?! Some men just want to see the world burn.
17. Sites like ZenniOptical.com will sell you rockin' hipster glasses for under $40!
18. Skrillex approves.
19. Meanwhile, you can buy skinny jeans for $20 at 20jeans.com.
20. Do a little DIY screen-printing to make those ironic T-shirts you love oh-so-much.
21. Finally, make your own tattoo gun and tat your friends up.
22. COME ON. Totally joking. You don't want to end up like this guy.
23. Tattoos are pretty sweet, though.
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