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The 7 Most Horrific Fanfictions You'll Ever Read

Pretty much every phanfiction titled "The ____ fic", tbh.

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2. The Hat Fic [Phan]

The seven words which are sure to send every member of the Phandom running: "And every month, we buy a hamster." This absolutely wonderful fic combines borderline animal abuse (r.i.p Striker) with truly scarring... um... kinks, certainly. We'll never be able to look at Dan the same way.

3. A Princess For A President [Barack Obama x Princess Celestia]

In which Barack Obama is going to masturbate with a bottle of beer (yes, with), but is distracted from this when Princess Celestia (a... um, a unicorn from My Little Pony. Yup.) spontaneously blows him in the middle of the garden. And that's not even the weird part. Your eyes will never be the same again.

4. You'll Be Mine and I'll Be Yours [Frerard]

Ah, the wonderful world of mpregs. No, we can't even say that sarcastically, they're horrifying and should be banned from the earth immediately. It's described as a “Chaptered Frerard AU in which nearly a quarter of all men are biologically able to carry children, and Gerard, who can carry children, has come to the realisation that he wants to have a child with his husband Frank.” We honestly fear for the people who read this out of their own free will and enjoyed it.

5. Innocence Lost 2: Breaking Boundaries [Alvin x Theodore]

Yes, we are talking about Alvin and the Chipmunks here. We are talking about two young rodents, who are also brothers, having passionate sex. There really isn't any other way to describe it. It's not as horrifying as some of the others, maybe because they're fictional characters but also because of the actual content, but it's still incestuous chipmunk erotica. So. Read it here.

6. The Knife Fic [Jalex]

I just... I don't even know how to explain this. There's some pretty rough sex, quite a few exclamations of 'slut' and 'whore', and then Jack fucks Alex with a knife. Which is apparently enjoyable, and not life-threatening.

7. My Immortal

It's not necessarily scarring, but anyone who has read this fic has lost about half of their brain cells along the way. This story, which has been likened to some of Shakespeare's works, is told from the point of view of Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, who is a 'goffik' vampire witch.

This will make you feel bad about liking MCR, but it does boast some incredibly well written sex scenes, such as "Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. 'Oh! Oh! Oh!' I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm."


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