1. YOU HAVE TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS.
2. You have to pretend to be interesting... and normal.
3. No one will ever worship us as much as Aaron Paul worships his wife... so what's the point?!
4. Plus Bey taught us to be single and independent so we can't possibly let the Queen down.
5. Kissing is gross, anyway.
6. ... And boys are gross.
7. Except this boy:
8. Oh, and this boy:
9. You're too busy preparing for your Broadway debut to focus on a man.
10. The thought of sharing YOUR bed with another human sends shivers down your spine.
11. If you had a boyfriend, you wouldn't have the time to watch back-to-back episodes of Orange Is the New Black alllllll day... you'd have to like... go outside.
12. And remember, outside is bad... because that means you have to wear actual clothes.
13. Living alone with cats doesn't sound depressing, it sounds AWESOME.
14. Dates are just.too.awkward.
15. And the love of our lives isn't even real.
16. You're quite content living your love life vicariously through Taylor Swift.
17. And, by the sounds of it, love is BRUTAL.
18. But it's all good, 'cause Nutella exists.
19. ... And so does pizza.
20. So there you have it, ladies and gents, being forever alone ROCKS. And to all the loved-up folk out there, this one's for you guys:
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