"Once, I stood in front of my fridge and ate stale, 'lightly salted' rice cakes dipped in margarine. I DIY'd a buttered popcorn rice cake, and it tasted like poison."
"I've consumed ketchup and mustard sandwiches, dry oatmeal, pretzel salt from the bag, and diluted lemon juice. One time I even mixed milk and cola just to see what it would taste like. These weren't so much snacks as they were meals, though, which really tests the limits of the word 'sad.'"
"In an attempt not to eat my favorite food, french fries, I have dipped reduced-fat crackers in ketchup. Because mostly the fries are really about the ketchup for me, and it's not as bad for you. I'm not proud."
"I once made a 'zesty ranch sauce' out of butter (stick) and salsa, which I ate with microwave chicken strips. The sauce was not well blended, and the butter was clumpy and disgusting."
"Once when I was in college, the only food I could find in my dorm room was butter-free microwave popcorn and Swiss Miss hot chocolate powder...so obviously I decided to pop the popcorn and cover it in the Swiss Miss. Truly the saddest snack I've ever consumed. Tbh I'm still broken up about it."
"Not me, but my roommate chops up tomatoes and onions and calls it pico de gallo."
"When I was a kid, I would snack on hot dog buns with mustard spread inside. Just plain buns. With plain mustard, spread inside with a knife."
"I once came home with such terrible munchies that I truly believed I would die if I did not consume a snack. So I ate the stroopwafels I bought two years earlier and had left in the back of the cupboard after having decided that they were terrible stroopwafels and not at all like the ones in the Netherlands. So they wouldn't even have been good fresh."
"A can of black beans cooked with a melted stick of string cheese."
"In college, I made spaghetti with a sauce made of tahini mixed with balsamic vinegar. I also ate raw whole-wheat spaghetti once or twice. College is a time for experimentation?"
"I tried making my own low-carb protein bar/flapjack things in college. The idea was to mix peanut butter with stuff like chia seeds, hemp seeds, cinnamon, oats, berries, etc., and then freeze the mixture for a few hours before cutting it up into squares. I always made it when I was hungry after the gym, so I'd just skip the freezing part, which meant basically eating a bowl of thick, brown mush). It looked disgusting, but it didn't actually taste thaaat bad."
"I have often sipped hot sauce straight from the bottle."