1. Don't try to murder your hosts.
2. Obey the house rules.
3. Be clear about how long you're staying.
4. Don't show up with any unexpected surprises, like a puppy or a kid.
5. Don't brutally assault the local high school bullies.
6. Bring a gift.
7. Be naked as little as possible.
It's acceptable to walk around naked in your own home, but when you're in someone else's home, avoid awkward hallway interactions by keeping your junk in the trunk.
8. Entertain yourself.
9. Don't frame your host's daughter's boyfriend for a double homicide.
10. Don't do some of the dishes. Do all the dishes. All the time.
11. No snooping.
12. BYOEverything.
13. Leave without a trace.
14. Seriously, though. No murdering.
For more great examples of improper houseguest etiquette, check out The Guest, now playing in theaters everywhere.
