10 Reasons Cavemen Were Badasses

There are probably a million more, because cavemen were just badass. How do you think we came out this way? Evolution has made us a bit wimpy, so let’s look back on the badasses of yesteryear and see what we can learn. Wanna be a badass? Your best bet would be to read up. Check out Free the Animal by Richard Nikoley.

1. They Hunted Gigantic Animals

Scary, right? Like mammoths, saber tooth tigers, wild ox, and bears. And mountain goats, which we assume must’ve been also been really big.

2. They Didn’t Care About Designer Labels

They wore skins from animals they killed! Or, nothing at all.

3. They Drew On Walls

Graffiti’s still illegal, right? Well, it wasn’t for cavemen. These artistic creatures created art where ever they pleased. Suck on that, Banksy.

4. They Were Never Very Cold

Cavemen are known for having barrel chests and solid limbs, which helped them stay warm in extremely cold temperatures. They also knew how to make a perfect fire.

5. They Didn’t Complain When They Were Injured

Because cavemen hunted such large animals, it was common for them to be injured while they were attempting to scoop up their next meal. Getting stabbed, scraped and breaking bones was all part of the hunting process. These badasses didn’t even have health insurance and they always came out on top (and wearing fur coats!).

6. They Bludgeoned Things

We don’t even USE the word “bludgeon” enough!

7. They Had Sex For Fun

That’s right: sex is fun and cavemen did what they wanted.

8. They Were “Apex Predators”

…which means they were at the top of the food chain because they had no predators of their own. Top of the pyramid!

9. They Had Balanced Diets

Even though they were excellent hunters and carnivores, cavemen made sure to eat their vegetables, too. The Caveman Diet kept them in tip-top shape.

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