1. You've gone blind from the flashbulbs of insensitive street style photographers.
2. When "missed connections" crashes, it is YOUR fault.
3. You must reimburse supermarkets for the eggs that are dropped and broken whenever you walk in.
4. Other gym goers are distracted by your presence.
5. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"
6. You are constantly mistaken for Michelangelo's David.
7. "Do you have a brother?"
8. Your friends have to wear sunglasses because of your sparkling teeth and crystal clear skin.
And eyes are the windows to the soul, so you feel like you just don't KNOW them anymore.
9. Puppies who meet you are like:
10. Red carpets are always asking you to walk them.
11. You've been kissed so many times that your lips have been declared public property.
They are no longer your own.
12. When walking on the street, you always think you have something on your face because of the side-eyes and stares.
13. And lastly: You don't look at mirrors; they look at you.
But if there's one man who knows how to take the struggle in sophisticated stride, it's Mortdecai, in theaters Jan. 23.
