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You Know You Are A Coffee Snob When... start reading all these lists on BuzzFeed...with a cuppa in hand.

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You aren't moved the slightest by chemical attacks in Syria…

...yet you are morally outraged if something like ‘this’ is served to you:

You regard this as the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel last option on the menu:

No thank you

No thank you

You treat your drink with the same kind of respect as a glass of swampwater, if it does not look like this:

You snub cafés without weekly beans…

...yet the child inside you awakens to any single origin Columbian roast in the local coffeehouse:

You have tried this…

...and would rather this:

You lambast people for not knowing the terminology of ‘doppio’, ‘ristretto’ or ‘café noisette’…

...yet you periodically mispronounce expresso...



...and still think that this is the only solution for people who still do it.

This ≠ Coffee.


Wow such Starbucks, much hipster.

You are desensitised to any form of erotic material presented before you...

...yet you find yourself strangely turned on by things like this...


You boast about your knowledge of the trade, the significance of the culture, the prowess of competitive baristas and coffee drinkers, and the foreknowledge you have over other customers…

...yet you still can't file your tax return.

You one day hope to start your own blog, detailing your vehement struggle against customers and the overbearing disrespect of the hospitality practice…

...but you’ve most likely been fired already for it, and will resign to your fate in the job market.

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