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Why Melbourne Seems To Take Themselves Way Too Seriously

Don't get your knickers in a twist, guys! Spread that Melbourne love I know you all have! (COMEDIC REBUTTAL. GET OVER IT.)

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On Wednesday night I posted my debut contribution to Buzzfeed. It has hit 33K views and climbing. Woah!

I also got lots of love heart things, whatever they are. And the yellow LOL’s…thank you so much!

Last time I checked, Melbourne was still a part of Australia. MOST OF AUSTRALIA IS NAMED AFTER THINGS FROM THE BRITISH MONARCHY AND COMMONWEALTH.

BT-DUBS, London isn’t a country…it is an individual city. Just FYI.

Melbourne itself (like, the entire fucking city) is named after a BRITISH Prime Minister (like, of England) named LORD MELBOURNE.

Port Phillip Bay? Named after a radical fucking governor who was appointed by King Wills and Queen V herself.

There is one thing you got right though…Sydney’s street layout is fucked up! But that was part of the original post and joke.

Because it is built around a natural ocean harbour and sprawled largely unplanned until the 1930’s. This is part of the reason why our traffic is so bad.

We also host different international sports in each of our respective cities. That makes both of our cities sporting capitals.

And the Gold Coast is the F1 motor sport capital (pictured), and that poor place isn’t even in this city debacle!

Sydney and Melbourne are ALWAYS going to have a historic rivalry. It began since before Federation. That’s why Canberra exists.

We were both too sassy to give up our place as the Capital City of Australia. (BTW, we let you have it temporarily because we felt bad about your toddler temper tantrum.)

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Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

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