On Wednesday night I posted my debut contribution to Buzzfeed. It has hit 33K views and climbing. Woah!
I honestly thought I was going to get reader backlash from comments I made such as this:
But instead, of all my backlash hate was directed towards one particular remark.
Yep. Somehow this was mega offensive.
Melbourne; lighten the fuck up!
I thought you were renowned around the world for being able to handle a joke?
I guess not.
Seriously. The reaction from you guys was as if I had typed something up like this.
This comment was my favourite. I laughed at it for about an hour
Last time I checked, Melbourne was still a part of Australia. MOST OF AUSTRALIA IS NAMED AFTER THINGS FROM THE BRITISH MONARCHY AND COMMONWEALTH.
Melbourne itself (like, the entire fucking city) is named after a BRITISH Prime Minister (like, of England) named LORD MELBOURNE.
Port Phillip Bay? Named after a radical fucking governor who was appointed by King Wills and Queen V herself.
There is one thing you got right though…Sydney’s street layout is fucked up! But that was part of the original post and joke.
Another thing you got right! Melbourne has amazing fashion, sporting and entertainment. But so does Sydney, honey boo boos.
MBFW is held in Sydney.
Collette-fucking-Dinnigan started her fashion label in Sydney. She does fashion shit for Paris!
We also host different international sports in each of our respective cities. That makes both of our cities sporting capitals.
Also, you may host the majority of commercial media and television (YAWN)
But we have freaking Home and Away.
and Ricky Martin (albeit temporarily)
Every larger city in the world has drive by shootings, hunty. You’re making out like Sydney is in the middle of Philadelphia or some shit.
Besides, don’t you guys have Broadmeadows and Frankston?
Basically, you always harp on about how much better you are than everyone else. You’re the Gretchen Wieners of Australia.
But this isn’t a post of hate. This is a post to signal a time to put things to rest. And a post of love!
Sydney and Melbourne are ALWAYS going to have a historic rivalry. It began since before Federation. That’s why Canberra exists.
Melbourne is better than Sydney.
(AT. SOME. THINGS.)
So let’s celebrate why our cities are amazing, instead of contantly getting our knickers in a twist.
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