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Weddings

Can You Pick Which Dog You Should Have At Your Wedding?

Who's gonna be the ring bearer of your dreams?

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  1. Thinkstock
    Gypsy
    Via Thinkstock
    Gypsy
    Via Thinkstock
    Rufus
    Via Thinkstock
    Rufus
    Via Thinkstock
    Butters
    Via Thinkstock
    Butters
    Via Thinkstock
    Sandy
    Via Thinkstock
    Sandy
    Via Thinkstock
    Dolores
    Via Thinkstock
    Dolores
    Via Thinkstock
    Julius
    Via Thinkstock
    Julius
    Via Thinkstock
    Bingo
    Via Thinkstock
    Bingo
    Via Thinkstock
    Colleen
    Via Thinkstock
    Colleen
    Via Thinkstock
    Thor
    Via Thinkstock
    Thor
    Via Thinkstock

Can You Pick Which Dog You Should Have At Your Wedding?

You got: Fine, but there's gonna be pee everywhere

Julius is cute AF, but HE'S A GODDAMN PUPPY. I get wanting to put your dog baby into your wedding, but know that if you do, he's going to pee and chew on everything.

Fine, but there's gonna be pee everywhere
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You got: If you want, but you're gonna hear a lot of gossip

Sandy is the fucking town crier. If there's some dirt to tell, Sandy is ON IT, so don't bring her if you have any dirty laundry.

If you want, but you're gonna hear a lot of gossip
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You got: No. That dog's gonna steal your girl

Look at those eyes. Rufus rhymes with ruthless, and he has no problem letting you know it.

No. That dog's gonna steal your girl
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You got: Meh

You wouldn't know it by his name, but Thor is like Guy Fieri — so annoying that you'd turn down a bowl of the best chili in the tristate area if he offered it to you.

Meh
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You got: Not the healthiest choice

Butters is like an actual stick of butter — soft, longer than she is wide, delicious, creamy, great on toast... oh what? Agh yeah sorry, Butters is chill, but you can do better.

Not the healthiest choice
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You got: LOL no

Thought you picked a winner with Bingo, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? Sike! Like, Bingo is cool, but he always acts a little stoned, and with an important job like dog ring bearer, you don't want him getting the munchies halfway down the aisle.

LOL no
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You got: You're getting there

Dolores is :whispers: kind of a snob. She's gonna judge with those beautiful brown eyes, so if you're at all sensitive, I'd say you should take a pass and bring her to the park another time, k?

You're getting there
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You got: A nearly ideal choice

Gypsy is almost maybe too perfect. The only thing wrong is she's kind of a flake, yanno? If she sees a man that can do both, she's gonna ditch your wedding and not even apologize. *If* she comes, she'll be the best damn dog you ever saw.

A nearly ideal choice
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You got: The perfect dog

It's kind of annoying that she's a collie named Colleen, but that's not her fault. She's a goddamn miracle TBH — calm, sweet, and a with a smile that'll melt your heart.

The perfect dog
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