16 Office Food Horror Stories That'll Make You Appreciate Your Sad Desk Salad
"My coworker reached into her purse, pulled out an ear of unshucked corn, and proceeded to shuck it in the office and then microwaved it."
1. The questionable re-use of an old Bath & Body Works bottle:
"I had a coworker who put ranch dressing in an old Bath & Body Works lotion container, and slather her food in it. I’m all for recycling containers, but there is no way you could get all the fragrance out of that."
2. The worst desk salad ever:
"We had a potluck one day and [my coworker] decided to bring in a salad. So, that day, instead of bringing in a premade salad, she brought in a head of iceberg lettuce and some grape tomatoes. She then takes a knife from a drawer in her desk, puts the head of lettuce directly onto her desktop, cuts it up, and puts it in a bowl. We had a kitchen at work, and why she didn't go there, I have no idea. Oh, and the knife. She used it all the time and would just wipe it off with a paper towel before putting it back into her desk. Yeah, nobody had salad that day."
3. The...odd method of eating ramen noodles:
"I had a coworker that would eat ramen noodles on her breaks, but she didn't east them normally. She would cook the noodles and eat them without the flavor packet, and then she would open the packet, stick her tongue in there, and wiggle it back and forth until she got all the seasoning out. It made me so uncomfortable."
4. The dedicated onion lover:
"The bar I worked at during college had a salsa bar at the back, and this one girl that worked with me would fill the little salsa cups with raw onions and just eat that on her breaks."
5. The McDonald's enthusiast:
"A disgusting co-worker I didn’t like sat down at her desk one morning, opened the bottom drawer, and pulled out a plate of leftover (from when I don’t know) McDonald’s hotcakes, and proceeded to eat them."
6. The DGAF corn shucker:
"My coworker had only worked at my job for about a month. One day, she reached into her purse, pulled out an ear of unshucked corn, and proceeded to shuck it in the office and then microwaved it. That’s the moment I knew we’d be friends."
7. The Thanksgiving cook:
"I worked at a nice, but casual, law office. Our kitchen had a stove/oven (I don’t know why), as well as a fridge and microwave. One woman brought in her raw turkey the day before Thanksgiving and spent all day roasting/cooking, as her stove at home wasn’t working. She did no work except monitor her turkey all day."
9. The bathroom-turned-kitchen:
"I was in the bathroom and while in a stall, I heard what sounded like a hair dryer. I came out and realized someone had a full-size blender and was making a smoothie. In the bathroom."
10. The chronic feaster:
"My coworker likes to bring in multiple, full meals to eat every day. We're talking 3-4 full Tupperware containers of fragrant meat and vegetables. She will take approximately 1-2 hours to eat each meal, and then floss at her desk afterwards. Not sure what exactly is in the food, but she also once apparently put too much spice in it and ended up moaning audibly for about five minutes. The whole office went quiet as we tried to figure out if she was okay. She has also occasionally laid flat in the hall outside our cubicles to stretch, so we had to step over and around her if we wanted to leave our cubicle. Pretty odd."
11. The highly unsanitary watermelon preparation:
"Many years ago, my work had a potluck lunch. I stopped in the bathroom before heading to the lunch. I found two of my coworkers cutting up fruit on the bathroom counter for their watermelon fruit bowl. It was so incredibly disgusting, not to mention unsanitary. I alerted my supervisor and the fruit bowl never made it to the potluck. I’ve never looked at a watermelon bowl the same way again."
12. The Brussels sprouts fiasco:
"I worked at the front desk of a spa and one day a coworker decided it would be a great idea to microwave steamed Brussels sprouts for lunch. The whole spa reeked of cat pee and we got a ton of complaints."
13. The cheesy fingers:
"I work at an artisanal cheese shop. In the state of Texas, you’re allowed to handle food without gloves as long as you double wash before touching it. A girl we hired was caught MULTIPLE TIMES licking her fingers after serving a customer a sample of cheese...and CONTINUING THE TASTING without re-washing. Needless to say, she was let go soon after."
14. The desk bacon situation:
"I was shaking my head at a coworker who brought in a toaster oven and placed it under her desk. She proceeded to cook a package of bacon in it. In her cubicle!"
15. The leftover Cobb salad:
"I saw a former co-worker carrying someone's more than half-eaten Cobb salad full of dressing into the dish pit...but not before scooping fast vigorous bites into his open, horse-chewing mouth with his dirty bare hands. It can't be unseen."
"Years ago I worked with this woman, we'll call her Janet. I have so many stories about her, but these are my favorites:
1. I walk into the bathroom and there's Janet leaning up against the sinks with a big ol' plate of biscuits. Eatin' biscuits while we're trying to wash our hands.
2. Janet is eating something from her purse. She sees me looking, pulls out a bag of Beggin' Strips and goes, 'You want one? They're for dogs but they're really good.'
3. Without any provocation, Janet lifted up her shirt to show me her heart surgery scar."
Bone app the teeth!
Some responses have been lightly edited for length or clarity.