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    Posted on Apr 6, 2017

    Two "Seinfeld" Writers Just Shared Some Lost Storylines, And They're Pretty Great

    GET. OUT.

    Seinfeld introduced some truly iconic phrases into the cultural lexicon.


    Not to mention relatable situations...


    ...and ridiculously quotable quotes.


    And honestly, the show's nine seasons don't feel like nearly enough! Who among us hasn't wondered how the crew would have dealt with iPhones or Tinder?

    Though we may never have those answers, former writers for the show did just share some pretty amazing lost storylines. Writer-producers David Mandel and Jeff Schaffer spoke to Entertainment Weekly for its latest issue and talked about ideas that never made it out of the writer's room. For example...

    Frank Costanza almost got into medicinal marijuana.

    NBC / Via

    What's better than a classic Frank "you wan a piece of me?" Costanza moment? One with Frank stoned out of his mind. “We went very far down the road with an idea that Frank was going to need medical marijuana for his cataracts,” Mandel said. “We thought the idea of Jerry Stiller on pot just seemed like comedy gold."

    So why'd they can this brilliant idea? "We heard that Cybill writers had a similar story in the works, and it was enough to make us put the idea aside," Mandel explained. That's a shame.

    The Soup Nazi was going to be an actual Nazi.

    NBC / Via

    "This one was sort of half-serious, half ‘Should we do this?,’ half ‘We’re never going to do it,'" Mandel said. Apparently, the classic episode could have ended with the Soup Nazi meeting up with other former Nazi war criminals with his soup recipes. "Going down a river and seeing lots of young boys with blue eyes from experimentation with the soups — it was a full coming together of soup and Nazi. Probably just as well that we didn’t do that one," Mandel said.

    There was going to be a specific kind of person called "The Prompter," à la The Close Talker and The Low Talker.

    NBC / Via

    "Alec [Berg, a Seinfeld writer-producer] and I pitched this idea a few times,” Schaffer said. “There was another comic, and she was a prompter. Jerry [Seinfeld] would be at lunch with her, and she would say, ‘You know, I only had one bit that really killed.’ Then she would wait, and he’d have to go, ‘Which one?’ ‘The bowling thing. It only died one time, but that’s because of who was there.’ ‘[Sigh] Who?’ You’d wait her out and she’d wait you out. Everyone knows someone like that, who just makes you pull it out of them."

    Schaffer added that The Prompter was going to make her debut during the episode where Jerry meets Leapin' Larry, but didn't say why the character was eventually dropped.

    Kramer might've gotten into the skeleton selling biz.

    NBC / Via

    This one is a little...strange, even for wacky Kramer. “Kramer was taking regular morgue-quality skeletons, refurbishing them, and turning them into museum-quality skeletons for teaching hospitals,” Schaffer said. “He would get all the bones together and buff them up real nice. Larry [David, the series co-creator] just said, ‘No. Kramer’s not refurbishing skeletons!’" Clearly, Larry David is always right.

    The entire show almost got transplanted to Mexico for a whole episode.

    NBC / Via

    Practically all of Seinfeld took place in Manhattan, but the episodes that didn't — like the backwards episode in India and the Season 2 episodes in Los Angeles — are among the show's best. “Had there been another season, I certainly would have tried to write this, because it was near and dear to my heart," Mandel said. "The idea was that Jerry and the gang go on a vacation somewhere — say, Mexico — and they would check into their hotel rooms, and Jerry would end up with a hotel room right across from Kramer’s hotel room, so the hotel-room dynamic would have been the same as the apartments. The entire episode would have taken place in Mexico but everything would have been kind of the same —there would have been a Mexican diner that they sat in."

    To all of this, we say...GET OUT.

    NBC / Via

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