The Things Other Countries Call "American" Are Absolutely Hilarious
"American mustard is weak-ass shit that goes perfectly on a hot dog, and only a hot dog."
Redditor GeneraLeeStoned recently posed the question on AskReddit, "Hey Europeans, in America we have things like French kiss, Swedish massage, or English tea. What are some things named after America that we might not realize?"
The responses encompassed countries far beyond Europe, and were equal parts hilarious, disturbing, and eye-opening. Here are some of the best ones.
1. Austrians call super-sized hamburgers "American burgers."
"I don't know why, but here in Austria, every diner calls their burgers 'American burgers' if they're considered above average in size."
2. In the Netherlands, a tumor in fatty tissue is called "Amerikænker."
"Probably because of similar reasons."
3. And the largest burger in McDonald's in Israel is called the "Big America."
4. To "have an American" in Ireland means pleasuring yourself.
"It's a roundabout version of rhyming slang. American -> Yank -> Wank."
5. In Norway, "Full Texas" (Heilt Texas) is an idiom that describes a situation that's completely unhinged.
6. In Russian, roller coasters are called "American mountains."
"In French, Spanish, and Italian, they're called 'Russian mountains.' Go figure."
7. Brass knuckles in France are called "poing américain."
9. In Britain, big fridges with side-by-side doors are known as "American fridges."
11. Irish people used to host "American wakes" for friends and family emigrating to the US.
12. In Canada, when you drive up to a stop sign and no one is around, so you slow down but don't actually stop before accelerating again, you're doing an "American stop."
13. In Japan, an "American coffee" is plain and weak black brewed coffee, and an "American joke" is a joke that pretty much any foreigner makes.
15. "American mustard" is the worst kind available, according to the English.
16. The Dutch recently started referring to elections where the debate is media-focused, and not about the policy but about the person, as "American elections."
17. A bedroom with a shower in it is an "American bedroom" in Malta, because...?
"Just got back from Malta where we rented a flat. Landlord made it a point to show us the 'American bedroom' they just had finished. It was literally just a bedroom, a nice one, with a shower stall in the corner. No doors or walls separating it from the rest of the bedroom or anything. From the shower you could, with a good jump, land on the bed. The toilet and sink had their own room down the hall however.
"He eagerly asked if this was how it was done in America. He was a bit perplexed as to why it was called an 'American bedroom' if us Americans had never seen one set up like that. Regardless, he shrugged it off and said, 'Well, enjoy it anyway!' We did."
18. And some European countries, including Switzerland, have a "Cool American" Doritos flavor.
Submissions have been lightly edited for length/clarity.