We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what you should never say to a pregnant person. Here are some of the best responses:
1. "Are you sure it’s not a food baby?"
"I was so small while pregnant that people would ask me, 'Are you sure it’s not a food baby?'" —j45d7514fa
2. "Are you going to have more than one?"
"Let me get through pushing out this human first. And also, none of your business." —vangellv
3. "Are you sure you aren't having twins?"
"My personal 'favorite' when I was pregnant with my first was, 'Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?' Made me feel real good while already adjusting to my rapidly changing body. I’m currently pregnant now and have embraced it much more than last time. And if anyone says it to me this time, I’m going to actually stand up for myself." —jessicas436bad5f2
4. “Must be nice to be pregnant. You get to stay home all day.”
"I was nine months pregnant and my doctor had advised me to stop working to keep my blood pressure down. The contractor who came to fix a busted pipe said, 'Must be nice to be pregnant. You get to stay home all day.' I didn’t say anything because it was all rage white noise and pterodactyl screeching in my head." —bunnywashington
5. "Do you want a girl or a boy?"
"I have two boys already and I'm expecting our third child. Everyone keeps assuming I'm only going to be happy with this baby if it's a girl." —sydneyq4d658384c
6. "Ok, but do you wish it was a girl/boy?"
"We had a girl the first time around, so when we were pregnant a second time and found out it was another girl, EVERYONE asked us whether we wished it was a boy. Like, why are boys valued so much more than girls?! Why does EVERYONE assume that we all want a boy over a girl? It really makes me wonder whether parents of boys are asked the reverse question and whether they find it just as rude. For the record, I’m thrilled to have two girls." —jennya433dd49b5
7. "Are you going to try again for a boy/girl?"
"When I was pregnant with my second son, people kept asking if we were going to try again for a girl. Umm...I haven't even had this baby yet. Chill out. And how do you 'try for a girl'? You just try for a baby." —sydneyq4d658384c
8. "Sleep now, because you will never sleep when the baby gets here."
"Yeah, that’s not how sleep works, idiot. Sleep deprivation is very real with a newborn but I can’t store sleep in my body to use later!" —robbinh
9. "You haven't had that baby yet?!"
"OMG during the last month and a half of my pregnancy, one of my male co-workers greeted me every morning with, 'You haven't had that baby yet!?' Yes, because it's my choice to have the baby gestate for 40 weeks." —courtneyoliver08
10. "You do know how pregnancy happens, right?"
"We are expecting our third baby in four years; the doctor called us ambitious the other day. The amount of both men and women who ask me if I know what causes pregnancy is outstanding. I really want to say something nasty each time, but I just look them in the eye with a smile on my face and say, 'Yes! And we are really good at it." —lalaacs
11. "I hope you have a girl so you can [insert heteronormative activity here]!!!"
"I have a coworker who was constantly saying, 'Oh, I hope you have a girl so you can take her shopping and get your nails done!!!' Every. Single. Day. I told her many times and in many ways that I a) didn’t buy into gender stereotypes and find them offensive and b) was hoping for a boy, for several reasons that had nothing to do with unnecessarily gendered activities. This did not stop her. I literally dreaded seeing her.
Then, when I found out I was having a boy, she said to me, 'But I wanted you to have a girl! Now you have to have another baby so you can get a girl next time.' I told her I had no intention of getting pregnant again and she demanded to know why."
12. "Was it planned?"
"Super awkward especially because it’s usually a family member!" —kaejackson
13. "Get ready, parenthood is really hard."
"For some reason, when you’re pregnant, everyone loves to tell you how hard it’s going to be. I was one week overdue and had an induction scheduled for the next week. A coworker overheard me telling another coworker how much I wanted my daughter to arrive and how excited I was. She said, 'You’ll regret saying that when it’s 3 a.m. and she’s crying and you’re changing a poopy diaper while running on no sleep.'" People love to tell you about how hard it is which they don’t seem to do with any other major life event such as getting married, buying a new house, etc."
14. "Breastfeeding and running after a baby makes the weight fall right off!"
'You'll lose the weight in no time, just make sure to breast feed, eat healthy, exercise, etc.' UGH I'm just worried about the thing coming out first, not my postpartum problems." —tristinl3
15. "Isn’t being pregnant just wonderful?!"
"I had a lot of depression that resulted from the hormones of my pregnancy and hearing that gave me quite the stigma of feeling like something was wrong with me and reminded me that I wasn’t able to have a 'beautiful' experience like everyone else. Mindfulness is the best approach for questions." —devansley
16. "That's all you're eating?"
"Never comment on what a pregnant woman is eating, whether you think it's too much, too little, or not healthy enough. She already has so many food restrictions and aversions, and she already knows how much weight she can gain and what she can eat. It's no one else's business but hers and her doctor's. My husband's grandmother said 'That's all you're eating? You know you're eating for two now right?'" —quinlantaylor04
17. "You really should/shouldn't do a home birth."
"Anything even remotely resembling an opinion on how I should go about removing another person from my body. For a variety of reasons, I’ll be having a scheduled C-section with my second baby. If one more woman tells me how peaceful and healing their home birth was after a traumatic first birth experience (like mine), and how I should just buy some aromatherapy candles and pop this kid out in the tub, I will straight-up slap them. You have your babies the way you want to have your babies, and I’ll have mine the way I want to. Good luck and god bless." —chelseal4ce905989
18. "Let me tell you about this horrible birth story."
"Fuck off with your horror stories, the thoughts have already crossed my mind. I don’t need you re-enacting them." —kirstylm
19. "You get bigger every time I see you!"
20. "Is the baby going to be circumcised?"
"Um, excuse me, why do strangers think they can comment (or have an opinion) on an unborn baby’s genitalia?" —meganm40c16092d
21. "I didn't know you were married!"
"It's not 1900, we don't need husbands to have babies." —ihateredroses
22. "Just you wait until... [insert stressful parenting experience, i.e. teething, sleep training, poopy diapers, etc.]"
"Believe me, I am already going through a rollercoaster of anxiety and panic. I need support and love, not vague, ambiguous warnings about all the things I'm not prepared for!!" —alealibroberg
23. "Wow! You're gonna pop any day now, huh??"
"I've had four babies, and I got a bigger belly with each one. Randos started saying that to me starting at 25 weeks with my last one. Yes, I was huge, but I didn't need to hear it from anyone else!"
24. "Get ready, two kids is so much harder than one."
"I have a toddler and I can't stand people telling me how hard it's going to be with my next one due within a month. I'm not an idiot, I get that there will be a difficult transition for our family. Two is harder than one, we all know. If you're only hear to give useless advice, please go away." —jbishop1101
25. "You're crazy if you don't get an epidural."
"When I tell people I want to try as hard as I can to have an unmedicated birth, all I get is the 'OMG YOU'RE GOING TO BE BEGGING FOR THAT EPIDURAL YOU'LL NEVER DO IT WITHOUT ONE HAHAHA'. Like...stfu. I want to TRY. I don't know how I'm going to handle the pain of labor and delivery, and neither do you, so how about just offer a, 'Good luck, I believe in you,' instead of being incredibly condescending? That shit annoys me to no end." —jamier46cac8f1a
26. "How much weight have you put on so far?"
"Courtesy of my mom, of all people." —ramabile
27. "Wow, maternity clothes aren't that flattering."
"Never comment negatively on how we’re dressed. Maternity clothes are expensive and mostly have to be shipped from online so it takes a while to build up a whole new wardrobe. So, unless you start with, 'Here’s $100 to go shopping,' keep your comments in your mouth." —amandaj48ab761da
28. "Calm down, it's not a big deal, it's just your pregnancy hormones."
"Said after preggo person starts getting upset over something 'small'." —alannahn479e47edf
29. "You're so young to have a baby."
"I was 20 when I got pregnant and was constantly told by people how I looked too young to be having a baby. I don't find that to be a complement or really anyone's business but mine or my partner's. How rude would it be if I told someone they looked too old to be a pregnant or new mom??" —vikkicuneo1997
30. "Are you sure you like that name?"
"I didn't mind being asked if we'd chosen a name but please don't ever try to talk someone out of a name they've chosen. You may not like the name, but it's not your choice. It's hard enough for the parents of the new baby to find a name that both of them agree on. They don't need anyone else's approval. Just let them be excited about the name they've found. If you don't like it, they don't need to know." —aram47706bc29
31. "Where is the father?"
32. “I can tell you’re having a boy/girl by the way you’re carrying.”
"It only took once for that to get old..." —travilkedung
33. "Just wait! You don’t even know pain yet."
"Whenever I get a pain from the baby moving or stretching, someone always has to say, 'Just wait! You don’t even know pain yet.' Fuck off, Janice, I’m not stupid. I know labor hurts, but so does getting repeatedly kicked in vagina." —mikaalanaq