Season 21 of The Bachelor is off and running! Each week, Terri — who has seen every episode of The Bachelor and the spinoffs — and Rachel — who is watching for the first time — will be recapping the latest episode of this epic season. Read the Episode 4 recap here.
1. Corinne “right reasons”es Taylor.
The episode starts right in the thick of their “epic showdown,” which honestly came out of nowhere. Some fights on this show simmer from the start, but in this case, it seems like the producers REALLY needed a foil for Corinne, and Taylor was — unfortunately for her — willing to take the heat. The two go back and forth talking in circles about “emotional intelligence” and “attitude,” and for a while it isn’t clear if they are even speaking English anymore. But then one line comes through loud and clear: Corinne accuses Taylor of “not being here for the right reasons.” NO ONE should be shocked that Taylor eventually got sent home at the end of the episode, because saying that is akin to calling someone a witch in 1690s Salem.
2. A contestant named Whitney appears out of nowhere to accept a rose.
WHO IS WHITNEY? Where did she come from? Has she spoken a single word — to the camera or Nick — this season? Did she emerge from within the walls of Bachelor Mansion, as if summoned by the possibility of free mimosas? We have so many questions.
3. None of these women have ever seen the inside of a Marriott before, apparently.
After a rose ceremony where Nick sent Astrid and Sarah home (side note: pleeeeeease stop doing rose ceremonies at the beginning of the episode), Nick is positively jazzed to tell the women that they’re heading to New Orleans for their next stop on the journey to find love!!! This exciting development gives Alexis the golden opportunity to tell us that she likes “gators, grits, and a good time.” Bless you, Alexis.
Upon arriving in the Big Easy, the contestants try on masks and check out their digs, a Marriott hotel they treat as though it’s nothing short of a magical lair in Cinderella’s castle. “Did you see the view?!” someone shouts as they pull open the curtains to reveal… some old, brown buildings. Being cooped up in Bachelor Mansion’s really taken its toll on these ladies, huh? Speaking of Marriotts, a commercial during the episode had the biggest bombshell of the whole night: The company’s name is pronounced MARRY-it, not MARE-ee-ott? Listen to the end of this ad, and hear it for yourself. What is going on in the world?!
4. The producers try (and fail) to keep us in suspense about who will be going on the two-on-one date.
As soon the ladies get settled in their Marriott manse, Chris Harrison waltzes on in, all linen blazer and crisp white shirted, and says that New Orleans will play host to a one-on-one date, a group date, and… the dreaded two-on-one date. HMM, WHO WILL GO ON THAT LAST ONE, WE WONDER??? Even Rachel (the BuzzFeed writer/first-time watcher, not the contestant) sees where this is going.
As everyone pretends that anyone other than Corinne and Taylor could possibly get chosen for the two-on-one, Rachel (the contestant) gets the coveted one-on-one date!!!
5. Nick really likes Rachel… but not as much as he likes beignets.
Rachel received the first impression rose night one, and her veritable dearth of screen time since then has been a tragedy. But all is right in the world now, because she and Nick reunite at a market to play with some tchotchkes, eat oysters, and try — but fail — to keep their hands off each other. Nick describes their chemistry as “explosive,” which is also a good way to describe the tears that streamed from our eyes as we watched these two adorable lovebirds on their date.
“Explosive” is also a good way to describe the powdered sugar on the poor beignet that makes contact with Nick’s mouth. We’re not used to seeing people actually eat on dates on The Bachelor, and we guess this gif is why. Rachel must’ve really felt like a third wheel here.
6. Rachel proves that she is perfect, and there’s nothing bad to say about her.
Where to even begin? Rachel, an intelligent, charismatic, fun-loving, beautiful attorney, is everything we want her to be on this date. When she spots a brass band parading down the street, she eagerly convinces Nick to join the second line, and they dance around, kiss, and seem to actually enjoy each other’s company. When they stumble upon LOLO performing at a music venue, they seem like a real couple, not two people selected by reality TV producers to spend time together.
7. And the other women have to witness said perfection from the window of their hotel room.
The view from the contestant’s hotel room is terrible, BUT it offers a perfect vantage point of Nick and Rachel in the second line, so the producers force them to stare out the window at the adorable couple lost in their own world of looooove. This is good TV, y’all.
8. Rachel’s dad is a federal judge, and Nick is not worthy.
At the end of a legitimately romantic and adult-seeming dinner date, Rachel opens up more about her life and her family. She casually mentions that her dad is a federal judge in Dallas, and there’s no mistaking the look of fear in Nick’s eyes. He tries to regain his composure and says something to the effect of, “So what’s he gonna think if you bring a guy like me around?”, a comment that could be interpreted in a number of ways. 🤔 In any case, he looks downright terrified — in a way that’s both vulnerable and relatable. Despite the warm pool of urine spreading slowly across his pants at the thought of asking a federal judge in Texas for his daughter’s hand in marriage (the third time Nick will ask a set of parents this question), Nick is clearly loving every moment of the time he spends with Rachel. ”I might be breaking rules here, but I’m super into you,” he tells her. Nick!!!!
9. There was an extremely boring group date that involved ghosts.
Josephine, Kristina, Alexis, Raven, Jaimi, Vanessa, Danielle M., Whitney, Jasmine, Danielle L. are all on the group date card, which means that — shocker — Taylor and Corinne are indeed going on the two-on-one date. Anyway, it’s off to a haunted plantation (again: 🤔 ) with the lot of them, and honestly, the date sucks. A truly bizarre tour guide/caretaker named Boo (because of course his name is Boo) tells them about Mae, a young girl who died in the house, and takes them on a tour where they’re treated to sights like some oddly-placed sheets and a creepy-ass doll they’re warned not to touch. The date lasts about 35 minutes — and 100 commercial breaks — too long. It’s moments like this when you’re like, Hey, ABC, you know making this show one hour instead of two is an option, right?
10. Roughly 99% of the contestants think Ouija boards actually work.
Nick and co. have the bright idea of trying to communicate with Mae via a spare Ouija board lying around. They all seem surprised when the viewfinder “magically” moves across the board, but these are the same people who legitimately looked surprised when they learned that Taylor and Corinne were going on the two-on-one date.
11. Raven drops a love bomb on Nick.
Somewhere in between all the haunted doll nonsense, Raven and Nick have a seemingly casual conversation, during which she slips in a “that’s when I realized I was in love with you.” Raven, you seem nice and are really good at roller skating, but you’ve known the man for, what, two weeks?! Chill, b.
12. There was a delightfully un-subtle Beauty and the Beast tie-in.
Many commercial breaks this episode were preceded by Josh Gad and Luke Evans lolling around on wingback chairs and comparing The Bachelor to the upcoming Beauty and the Beast remake. The highlight of all this was the date-rose-under-cloche shot, which only made us wish we were actually watching The Beauty and the Beast, and not this never-ending group date.
Unfortunately for lovesick Raven, Nick gives the magical rose to Danielle M.
13. Corinne and Taylor’s two-on-one date is about as bad as you’d expect it to be.
The arch-rivals ship off to the bayou, where the tension is as thick as the humidity. The threesome is greeted by ABC’s idea of a friendly neighborhood voodoo priestess, who tells them they’ll have tarot card readings. As Taylor has her cards read, Nick and Corinne trot off hand-in-hand into the woods in search of the perfect spot for Corinne to rip Taylor to shreds. In true manipulative fashion, Corinne casts herself as the victim, and complains to Nick that Taylor’s been bullying her, even as she calls Taylor a “big mean swamp monster” in her confessionals. By the time Taylor gets one-on-one time with Nick, it’s pretty clear he’s fallen under Ivanka 2.0’s spell and that his mind is made up. When it’s finally rose time, Nick asks Corinne to stay and abandons Taylor on the shores of the bayou.
14. Taylor participates in a “voodoo ceremony” and then crashes Corinne and Nick’s dinner.
Because at least Taylor was left near some semblance of civilization, unlike Olivia last season, she recovers from her rejection by wandering over to a “voodoo ceremony” (AGAIN: 🤔 🤔 🤔 ) and eventually right into Corinne and Nick’s date. Will her appearance help Nick snap out of it and send Corinne home, too? Will he change his mind and keep Taylor around instead? The episode ends on a goddamn cliffhanger, so we’ll have to wait until the next episode to find out.
Terri: This episode could — and should — have been an hour long. And if I had it my way, that entire hour would have been Nick and Rachel’s date. The haunted house date dragged on and on, and Taylor and Corinne’s fight just seemed so random and overblown. Somehow, even with its two-hour runtime, the show never addressed that the haunted house was actually a plantation, nor did they give any kind of meaningful attention to voodoo. It’s an important religion and culture, but they made it look like a part of Disney World’s Jungle Cruise. I don’t watch The Bachelor for educational purposes, mind you, but this was a hugely ignorant and self-serving episode that I really could have done without. I shake my head in shame when I think of all the Alexis gems they could have shown instead.
Rachel: Fully agree on the assessment above. Also, I’m so deeply over Corinne. I get that the producers think she makes for good TV, but she’s crossed from “ha ha ha is she SLEEPING? we are clearly being played here, but it’s fine” into “oh my god, I’d rather just change the channel than listen to her drunkenly blather on about how great she is and how much everyone else sucks.” Also, if you were following on Twitter, you probably know that the Sally Yates news broke literally just moments before Nick gave Corinne the date rose, which was a sort of surreal moment that I didn’t much care for. On a lighter note, I cannot believe how emotionally invested I am in Nick and Rachel’s relationship. I didn’t know I could care this much about the fate of a reality TV couple!!!
See you next week!
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