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17 Pieces Of Advice All Women Need To Hear

"You have to toot your own horn because no one will do it for you."

We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the best advice a woman ever gave them. Here are some of the best responses:

1. It's ok to make mistakes.

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"One of my first jobs was at a cookie bakery. On the first day my supervisor told me, 'You WILL burn the cookies. You’ll undercook them. You will bake too many. You won’t bake enough — and it’s going to be okay.' As someone who is constantly worried that I’m not good enough or messing everything up, now when I make a mistake I remind myself, 'I burned the cookies. But it’s going to be okay.'"


2. Remember how smart you are.

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"'Remember how smart you are.' A friend told me this the day before I took my Occupational Therapy certification exam. It was a great reminder that there’s a reason I’ve come so far and accomplished so much, and I should have faith in myself and my ability to achieve my goals."


3. Always wash your "unders."

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"My mom gave me two solid pieces of advice. The first has for some reason been passed down between women in my family for generations: 'Always wash your unders.' Basically, if you ever can't take a shower but feel dirty, wash (or at least splash with water) your pits, crotch, and behind your knees and you'll feel way better. The second my mom learned from marrying the poorest guy she ever dated: 'Money isn't everything, but it helps.'"


4. Be on time.

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"Always be punctual. Showing a person that you respect his/her time shows that you respect that person in general."


5. Know when it's time to stop pitying yourself.

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'You can sit on your pity potty for as long as you want, but always flush when you get up.' — my lovely English teacher (who originally heard it from her grandmother)."


6. Don't throw away your vote.

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"Vote. Too many women fought for you to be apathetic." —avcmurray

7. Stop apologizing all the time.

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"When I was at the 2017 Women's March in D.C., my mom had to be in a wheelchair, and whoever was pushing her often had to apologize for nearly bumping into someone or needing to scurry past. Near the Washington Memorial, a woman I apologized to turned around, looked me in the eyes, and said, 'No more sorry's! Women apologize enough, it's time to stop being sorry.' She got a full look at me and my mom her chair. "'You're helping a disabled woman. You should never apologize for that. You don't have to be polite!'

Due to habit, I kept saying sorry the rest of the day, but since then, I've been trying to reserve my sorrys for when it's truly necessary and I truly mean it. She's right, women are all too often apologizing because we need to be more polite than anyone else. It's time to stop being sorry."


8. Believe in yourself as unconditionally as a man would believe in himself.

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"When I was nervous about taking a new job I thought was too much for me, one of my good friends said, 'Would a man ever be this concerned with whether or not he could do the job or be successful? No. So own it!' That spoke to me."


9. And be your own biggest cheerleader.

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"'You have to toot your own horn because no one will do it for you.' — my aunt Toots (no pun intended, that's what we really called her.)"


10. Just try.

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"Summer swim team wasn't my favorite in high school. I knew I didn't have the talent or conditioning to win an upcoming race, so I asked my friend, 'What's the point of even trying? I'll just come in last!' She grabbed me by my shoulders, forced me to look at her, and said, 'Second to last. Try for second to last.' I ended up getting third place! I doubt myself a LOT due to clinical depression, and those words always remind me to push myself to exceed my own expectations — you never know what will happen."


11. Negotiate more money for yourself at work.

"When negotiating your salary, ask for $5,000 more than what you were thinking. Because you are worth it!"


12. Get comfortable accepting compliments.

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"My mom told me to learn to take a compliment. Learn to accept the compliment and simply say thank you without a justification or explanation."


13. Enjoy and love being by yourself.

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"My favorite teacher in high school, Mrs. Cobb, told us 'Get used to being alone.' It sounds harsh, but she didn't say it to be mean or shady! She explained that there were going to be times in our lives where we didn't have parents, friends, or lovers to guide us or shelter us. We had to learn to enjoy and love ourselves fully as individuals in order to lead fulfilling and meaningful lives. I've remembered that lesson of hers far longer than her Spanish lessons!"


14. And talk to yourself like you'd talk about your best friend.

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"Someone once told me that if I wouldn’t say it about my best friend not to say it about myself. It gave me a whole new outlook on body positivity and feeling better about myself."


15. If you want to be independent, make your own money.

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"My mom says you should always be able to make and manage your own money — it's the key to independence. Even if you're married and share financial responsibilities, you should be able to stand on your own two feet if you need to. Women have been kept down, and kept in bad relationships for centuries because of their financial dependence on men."


16. Marry the person you can talk and laugh about anything with.

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"My grandmother told me to marry someone that makes you laugh and that you can talk to, because nothing else lasts."


17. And above all else, keep going.

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"When you're going through a difficult time because of a death or breakup or you're grieving for some reason and aren't really your full self, keep going. Keep practicing, writing, working, moving, and one day when your pain has gone away, you won't have to start over or dig yourself out of a hole. You will have maintained a beautiful life around yourself even if you couldn't really feel or appreciate it's beauty while you were down. My sister told me that after a bad breakup and was amazing advice that applies to a lot of situations in life."


Some responses have been lightly edited for length or clarity.

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