There Is A Body Part Called The Meatus, And I'm Sorry Folks, But We All Have One

"You get a meatus! You get a meatus!" —Oprah, probably.

I recently read a study with this highly compelling title, because I am an Educated and Mature Person™ who likes to be informed on all matters.

onlinelibrary.wiley.com

It was mostly filled with fancy-sounding medical jargon that made my eyes glaze over, until — UNTIL — I saw the word "meatus."

onlinelibrary.wiley.com

"Overall, women were found to consider the 'position and shape of the meatus' as the least important penile aspect," it says, among other things.

MEATUS?!?!?!?!?!

giphy.com

I couldn't believe my eyes! It sounds like something Beavis and Butthead would come up with. It's almost too on the nose.

MTV

I, like many of you probably, also assumed that the meatus is the, well, meat. BUT...NOPE!

giphy.com

A quick dictionary search showed that a meatus is just a bodily passage. That means that we all have meatuses (yes, that's the plural, not meatusi, I looked it up), and SEVERAL of them. It's derived from the Latin "meare," which means "to go."

FOX

You get a meatus! You get a meatus! We all get meatuses!!!!

Turns out, the opening of the ear canal, the skull, the nose, and yes, the urethra, all have (or are) meatuses.

NBC

That ALSO explains why women said it was the least important penile aspect…because honestly, who cares about the position and shape of a dickhole?*

*Do not Google "meatus" if you are faint of heart/stomach.

So now you know! And you can tell people all about your (and their) meatuses, and watch them get really uncomfortable.

TLC